Finally, Jackson emerged from one of the SUVs, surrounded by his usual gaggle of bodyguards, plus several family members. Fans start screaming, "M.J., innocent!" and "We love you, Michael!" but Jackson looked like he was in a daze, barely raising his hand to give his fans the peace sign. "It's almost surreal to watch this!" said the Fox News anchor, and Aidala speculated on why Jackson might've been late to the courtroom. Upon leaving his house, Jackson "probably took a look around, because that could be the last time!" Aidala added, "Every sense of privacy will be taken away from him, immediately, within minutes, if there's a [guilty] verdict!" Another Fox News commentator said that he hoped that someone sat down with Jackson and discussed "the likelihood of a conviction and what that's going to mean to his life."

The next few minutes were a jumble of babbling and empty airtime.

"There has been some dysfunctional elements in this family, going back many years ..."

"The crowd outside is quiet, waiting for the audio feed ..."

"The big one to listen for is Count 2. Count 2 is the ...

"I've just been told the jury is seated, and they aren't looking at Jackson ..."

"I've never seen a judge allow an audio feed ..."

Then the verdict was read: not guilty, on all counts. Immediately, the crowd outside the courtroom started screaming and cheering and crying. "Praise God!" many mouthed repeatedly. A woman released a white dove each time the words "not guilty" were read. Fans cried and jumped up and down and screamed into their cellphones. One fan shook a sign that read, "Michael on behalf of Mankind, we're sorry."

District Attorney Thomas Sneddon, who's dedicated the last 10 years of his career to prosecuting Jackson, looked sorry as well, but refused to express regrets. "I'm not going to look back and apologize for anything we've done," said Sneddon. "We did a very conscientious, thorough job, as did the sheriff's department, in investigating this case."

Unrelenting, a reporter asked, "Why did you go ahead with the case when you knew the mother in particular to be such a troublesome witness?"

Sneddon became defensive, and snapped, "I don't think the media generally understands the responsibility of a prosecutor. And I'll answer it this way: The simple thing is, when a victim comes in, and the victim tells you they've been victimized, and you believe that, and you believe that the evidence supports that, you don't look at their pedigree. We look at what's right. You do the right things for the right reasons, and if it doesn't work out, that's why you have a jury system."

The assembled commentators, of course, immediately went into know-it-all mode, casting the acquittal as an obvious outcome for the case. The jurors, meanwhile, talked about the ordeal of the four-month trial like they'd been away at summer camp.

"Fortunately, we did get to know each other, and we were able to have discussions and not screaming matches ... and we had a lot of good food!" said one juror.

"I made 19 new friends over the course of six months," said another.

But where was the reasonable doubt? They didn't pay attention to the fact that the accuser's mother was a suspected grifter, did they?

While the jurors were fairly careful to shield their harshest judgments from the press, one Latino juror cited the accuser's mother's testimony. "And one other thing, too; I guess the mother, when she looked at me and snapped her fingers a few times and she says, 'You know how our culture is, and winks at me, I thought, 'No, that's not the way our culture is.'" The entire jury broke out into loud laughter at this.

Aha! It was just as we all suspected: Crazy Mommy saved Michael from the big house. After such an action-packed day, it was all over: Sneddon was crushed, the commentators seemed crestfallen over the lack of a conviction, and the fans were thrilled. But what about Jackson himself? Would he be celebrating soon, knee-deep in "Jesus juice" by nightfall?

Wolf Blitzer had Rev. Jesse Jackson on the phone with his usual words of support. "It was a painful process," he said, adding that Jackson had been tried and convicted in many a newsroom. "The healing process must begin."

But when, exactly, will it begin? And is there any way we can get a live feed when it does?

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