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Tuesday, Nov 24, 2009
Emmy nominations, "Jeopardy" dominations and "Amazing Race" abominations. Plus: On "Six Feet Under," God discovers that torturing David is at least good for a laugh.
Jul 19, 2004 | Pat my back and call me Emmy
The Emmy nominations were announced last Thursday. God, I hate awards and awarding awarders who award them. Do you really want to hear about the Emmys?
All right, but only for a second. Fox's "Arrested Development" was nominated for comedy series, which sure would've made Fox feel guilty if it had canceled the show prematurely. John Ritter was nominated for lead actor in a comedy series for the three episodes of "8 Simple Rules" he appeared in before he died last year, which sure made God feel guilty for snatching Ritter off the face of the earth prematurely. HBO was nominated for almost everything except "Six Feet Under," which wasn't eligible because it didn't air early enough to be included in the nominations, which sucks.
It also sucks that "Deadwood" wasn't nominated for drama series, nor was Ian McShane nominated for lead actor in a drama series. I guess we'll just have to wait for the Salon TV Awards, which are far more trustworthy, since I'll have some say in them.
One more thing, though: NBC's "Last Comic Standing" does not remotely deserve a nomination for reality-competition program. UPN's "America's Next Top Model" does. No, I'm not kidding. No, I'm really not kidding.
Amazing race, how sweet the sound
CBS CEO Les Moonves wasn't kidding last year when he announced that there might not be another season of "The Amazing Race" (Tuesdays at 10 p.m.), thanks to crappy ratings for the show. He also wasn't kidding back in 2000 when he said that Julie Chen (who is actually a robot, according to reliable sources) was doing a totally awesome job as the host of "Big Brother." But I'm sure there's an explanation for it -- everything in the known universe can be explained, whether through the miracle of science or the miracle of gossip columns.
Thankfully, a fifth season of "The Amazing Race" is airing right now, and if you know what's good for you, you'll start watching it immediately. Last week, not only did the scary demon twins have to walk a tangle of stubborn dogs through the streets of Buenos Aires, but longtime couple Donny and Alison imploded before our very eyes.
Donny: You are an embarrassment.
Alison: F--- you! You're a loser.
Sadly, the couple went from first to last place and was eliminated at the end of the show. Once they had some time to reflect on their experience, though, they were a little more philosophical about what they'd learned.
Alison: Donny and I haven't had the healthiest relationship ever. It's been rough.
Donny: Dealing with Alison was the hardest part of the race for me. On the race, like, I hated her. I can't believe I'm here with her. I'd rather change partners than be with her. So this race has really taught me to redefine my love for Alison.
Redefine it as hate, in other words?
You have to adore a show that teaches long-term couples to find that core of hate beneath layer upon layer of niceties and hand-holding and rented movies and play dates with their other long-term-couple friends. Why enter into months of grueling therapy when all it takes to find out the truth is a little high-pressure travel?
