Spare us the cutter
Speaking of which, it turns out that Frankie (see also: every twisted casting director's wet dream) not only has cystic fibrosis, multiple emotional issues, a Hello Kitty fetish, a thing for snakes, a fear of large boats and buildings, and a smoking habit, but she's also a cutter, meaning she cuts herself when she's feeling emotionally overwhelmed.

Even with so many colorful quirks, last week's "Real World" was less subtle than your average post-Ritter episode of "8 Simple Rules." After announcing that she is very, very upset, Frankie goes to the cupboard to get a knife, goes to the bathroom crying, yelps a few times and then drops a knife in front of her roommates on her way out. Lest anyone think this is entertainment (No, no! We know that this is serious. That thing about cystic fibrosis -- that's entertainment), Dr. Drew's somber face appears several times during the show to inform us that people who cut themselves have serious issues and need professional help. Thanks, Dr. Drew! Hey, by the way, I've been smoking heroin and then having sex with my uncle. That's just a normal part of growing up, right?

As long as Dr. Drew is around, though, it would be nice if he and Adam Carolla could do that thing they do on "Loveline," where they put the caller on hold and make bets about which factors led to the caller's current sexual pathologies. "I'm going to say she slept with someone in her immediate family, either her dad or a close relative, before age 14."

"I wouldn't rule that out, but I'm guessing that Dad beat up Mom in front of her, and that she's using."

Everyone's certainly wondering what Frankie's home life is like. And Brad's parents aren't exactly the coolest around, choosing a time when he's on camera to tell him he can't live with them anymore, then sending him a box of bills in the mail. If we knew a little bit more about the really dark side of some of these families, we might forgive Randy for hitting people, or let Frankie off the hook for the hot pink eye shadow that makes her look about as attractive as Gael on "24."

Pandora's suggestion box
Yes, it's official. "24" has suddenly kicked into high gear out of nowhere. The virus is out and about, Gael is dead, and Michelle is the next to go, a death sentence that has somehow transformed her from whiny wife to tragic hero overnight. Now it looks like even Ryan Chappelle will find himself in the line of fire, since the terrorist mastermind has demanded that the president kill him. After half a season of the quarrelling Salazar brothers, suddenly "24" is pure, nail-biting fun again. But how did they pull out of that tailspin? Did the writers read your suggestions on how to fix the show? Sure looks like it.

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