Boy, it sure sounds like Rob's going to get his comeuppance, doesn't it? Think again. Christy is wishy-washy about whether she'll align herself with Jenna and Heidi, whom she dislikes intensely but who might offer her a better chance at making it to the top three. When Rob realizes he can't count on Christy, who does he turn to? Heidi and Jenna, who, despite their countless moral objections, quickly take him up on his offer and vote Christy off instead. Never one to give himself an undue amount of credit, Rob is beside himself at how easy it was to turn the tide.

Rob: "This is really crazy stuff going on. I can't believe I'm back in Jenna and Heidi's good graces."

Before the vote, Christy is absurdly confident.

Christy: "Honestly, right now I think that I am in the driver's seat. I make the final decision."

Cut to Christy, getting voted off. Does she turn her rage on Rob? No, sir.

Christy: "I'm so pissed off! I didn't deserve to be voted out! I'm gonna make sure those freaking evil stepsisters of mine are not gonna win the million dollars!"

Meanwhile, Rob can't keep himself from grinning whenever someone new is voted off, mostly because he single-handedly masterminded each downfall.

But the best moments arrive when Rob snipes openly at the others in the group. Take, for example, Jenna's complaints to Jeff Probst about the hardships of being beautiful.

Jenna: "I'm judged all the time by just ... outside looks. I mean, I don't think that women take to me very well, I mean, 'You're a stupid model, you can't hack it.' So I've felt like I've had to work twice as hard to get here, and I think Heidi feels the same."

Heidi nods.

Jeff: "Rob, have you had to work harder?"

Rob: "Well, I was lucky in this game, that I was not handsome. So I didn't have any uh, handicaps like the girls..."

On Thursday night's episode, the last before the finale, everyone seems to be doing themselves in except for Rob. Clueless Butch packs firewood around the shelter, the group leaves a fire burning, and (surprise!) the whole thing burns down, along with everyone's stuff. Jenna laments that her pledge crown and her Zeta sorority jacket (which is irreplaceable, see, because it's passed down from sister to sister) have been destroyed. Then she and Heidi lie around some more while everyone else is working. Later, Jenna cries and says she can't take another day of lying around while everyone else is working. Heidi openly urges the group to vote Jenna off, while patting herself on the back for being such a generous, warm-hearted soul, as is becoming her habit. Matthew dominates both challenges, winning a car and immunity, but makes the mistake of appearing to be more of a threat than ever. Rob's sense of humor is, as always, intact.

Rob: "I really am very happy for Matthew. I'm very happy that he got to win the car. And I asked him, if he ever goes to Asia, or if he ever returns to the planet that he came from, he says I can borrow it, and go cruising for chicks."

Before the vote, Heidi is absurdly confident.

Heidi: "I'm like the mastermind behind half of the plans that go on day to day, and I've got three guys here that are scared to death of me."

Rob and Matthew exchange bemused looks. Members of the jury roll their eyes; one of them covers his face in disbelief.

Cut to Heidi, getting voted off. Does she turn her rage on Rob? No, she's too busy complimenting herself.

Heidi: "I have got a lot of heart and a lot of soul, a lot of pride, and I stop at nothing..." Save it for "The Early Show," cupcake.

But let's go ahead and give Rob credit for Heidi's grandiose behavior while we're at it. After all, the beauty of a player like Rob is that he brings out the worst in everyone. Just as Aguirre's puppet leader, Guzman, became increasingly haughty, wielding his privileges until he was murdered by his underlings, so did Rob's puppeteering bring out the popular-girl sense of entitlement and babyish foot-stomping in Jenna and Heidi. The pair would never have vacillated between such extremes of arrogant and desperate behavior had they not been handed a false sense of power by Rob, only to have him snatch it away again. Their outrage at losing power is clear: How did this little dork pull one over on us? Rob follows in slippery Richard Hatch's shoes here, as well -- that thrillingly vitriolic showdown between Susan Hawk and Kelly Wiglesworth during the first season's finale would have been impossible without Rich egging them on.

Doubtless there are those who hated Richard Hatch, and who will claim that Rob is "too mean" or that he's "irritating" or "annoying" or "just a sniveling little horndog." And they're right, but they also may be describing the ideal survivor. Because, just as Aguirre's ill-fated trek into the dark corners of the jungle brought out some demonic force within him, so "Survivor" unearths the ugly underbelly of human behavior that emerges when a lot of wealth is at stake. Some might scoff at the ugliness they see, but the game really is about courting the shadow. When people are hungry and they can't trust each other, a drama will inevitably unfold, and whether it's an art film or a well-crafted reality show, it's fascinating to witness.

In the end, thanks to Jenna's surprise win of two immunity challenges in a row, Rob didn't even make it into the final two -- even though both Matthew and Jenna admitted that he deserved to. After all, he was by far the most charismatic, the most conniving and the most intimidating. Call it the Aguirre Principle. Maybe it's sick, but it has more than a little in common with American politics.

The truth is, CBS should give Rob a million bucks for reviving the franchise and making this, by far, the best episode of "Survivor" to date.

Who else is with me?

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