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Sunday, Jul 12, 2009
CBS's "Amazing Race" proves that nothing brings out the beast within couples like dealing with traffic, layovers and illegible maps.
Aug 18, 2003 | With so many dating and relationship reality shows on the air, it's remarkable how few actually manage to hold your attention for more than a few seconds. "Perfect Partners," "For Love or Money," "Elimidate," "The Bachelor" ... After the initial novelty wears off, watching these shows is like going on one really bad date after another. If you wanted to sit through moronic, inane banter punctuated by awkward silences, why wouldn't you just ask out a socially inept halfwit yourself?
If, instead of watching people pretending to fall in love for the camera, you'd prefer to see established couples fall into a downward spiral of contempt and hysteria -- and who wouldn't? -- then "The Amazing Race" is the show for you. Don't let the silly world-travel challenges fool you. "The Amazing Race" is all about dragging long-term relationships over the red-hot coals of conflict. And whether the couples are straight newlyweds, middle-aged gay partners, or frat-boy buddies with flashes of homoerotic excitement at every turn, the seething and the spitty insults are just a grumpy taxi driver who doesn't speak English away.
While "Pirates of the Caribbean" and "The Rock" were certainly timeless classics, who knew Jerry Bruckheimer had the vision to back a show that's basically a relationship compatibility quiz from a women's magazine, set into live action? As our intrepid couples endure a steady stream of panic-inducing situations, skillfully edited to maximize the nail-biting suspense, we can almost see the seams of their relationships ripping before our eyes. Week after week, the couples strain to keep the peace with each other while keeping pace with the other teams, but the cumulative effect of the gantlet of impossible tasks -- from traveling across India on smelly trains filled with groping men to rappelling face-first down the side of a building in Australia -- creates permanent rifts and visible emotional scars.
"The Amazing Race" has always been an imaginative and well-produced show, but this year's lineup of couples has offered more hilarious calamities and personality clashes than usual. Sensing the real reason why audiences tune in, the show's producers have taken to casting at least three or four teams with poisonous interpersonal dynamics. This year's Most Attacking, Codependent Couple Award has inspired a worthy battle between engaged couple Amanda and Chris, girlfriends Tian and Jaree, and soon-to-be enemies Cindy and Russell. During the second episode, Chris and Amanda inched closer to the title when Chris let loose a torrent of abuse on his fiancée while they were navigating the canals of Venice in a gondola.
Chris (snatching map from Amanda): Give me this, because you suck at this.
Chris (voiceover): I'm gonna do whatever it takes for us to win.
Amanda: This is so cool!
Chris: It's not cool if we come in last.
Chris (voiceover): If I have to, you know, be mean about something, I'm probably going to.
Sadly, though, after we watched Chris verbally and emotionally abuse Amanda until she was a beaten-down shadow of her already beaten-down self, the two were booted thanks to Chris's utter incapacity to complete a simple matching game. Amanda summed up the vortex of pain and anguish that is her relationship with the following words: "He's still a little jerk, but I love him, it's OK." Substitute "big, snarling, abusive asshole" for "little jerk" and you've got about half of the picture.
But since The Little Jerks were eliminated before violence erupted, Cindy and Russell picked up where they left off, with Cindy accusing Russell of being "ultra-controlling" and sniping, "It's amazing I even got through the world without you!" Ah yes, there's nothing quite like a scolding, sarcastic tirade to get a man on your side.
