Then again, how many guests prefer harassment to flattery and fawning? The truth is, even obsequiousness can look edgy, in the right hands. Witness Jon Stewart interviewing Harrison Ford on a recent episode of "The Daily Show."

Stewart: "I am not an agent, I am not a publicist, but I can tell you this: This show is beneath you."

Ford: "I kept telling 'em that."

Stewart: "They have to start listening to you!"

Ford: "Yeah, they gotta start paying some attention."

Stewart: "Damn it!"

Ford: "Well, I'm here. We might as well go ahead with it."

Stewart: "Well, we appreciate it. I almost have a hard time believing this. I feel like I'm being 'Punk'd.' I feel like this is all gonna be a little ruse, a little razzmatazz and all of a sudden you're gonna go ... [mimes pulling off a mask] 'Look! It's the guy who was on 'Felicity' for a year!'"

The rapport that Stewart establishes with Ford in the first few seconds of the interview stems from self-deprecation, but still serves its purpose, allowing Stewart to appear edgier than your run-of-the-mill host. Green, on the other hand, rejects those talk-show conventions that feel too mainstream and earnest for his liking, yet they're exactly the ones he needs to keep his ship afloat.

Similarly, hosts like Craig Kilborn, Conan O'Brien and Jimmy Kimmel do the traditional talk-show song and dance, but their mannerisms and verbal tics are meant to signal that they're above it all. Unlike the old talk-show style, which required brimming over with enthusiasm for everything that walked, crawled or oozed across your stage, the new gaggle of alterna-Jays wants to have their cake and eat it, too, claiming to be all jazzed up about guest Roma Downey while rolling their eyes over how bad "The Matrix" sequel was.

Letterman has walked the line between effective host and sharp, scathing wit better than anyone, but playing both sides has cost him more than a little credibility over the years. The fact that the latest round of hosts think they can pull off the high-wire act it's taken Letterman 23 years to master (and which many of them attempt simply by imitating him) is a testament to the willful obliviousness and the bloated egos involved.

But why indulge such an outdated format in the first place? Flipping between Leno, Letterman, O'Brien, Kilborn, Miller, Maher, Brady and Daly, no matter how much extra flair any one host pumps into his routine, the similarities stand out much more than the differences. Here's the jazzy band and the curtain, the host emerging with a wide grin, the little dance he does with the band reacting to his every move, the announcement that this show is going to be incredibly good and that he's in a great mood, the reference to something that happened on the show the night before, the banter with the band leader. Aren't audiences tired of this hambone routine yet? With the same five celebrities doing the rounds on the same eight or nine talk shows at the same time, the whole thing feels about as fresh and spontaneous as a two-year-old press release. If talk shows are just the distribution system for celebrity promotional tours, why would anyone in their right mind want to host one?

Unfortunately, slight departures from the standard fare often don't work that well, either. While Johnny Carson's "Tonight Show" focused on creating an upbeat sense of fun and drawing out guests enough that some spontaneous bit of humor or connection could occur, shows like Green's, or Colin Quinn's "Tough Crowd," seem to want to cut straight to the good parts, the cleverest of clever banter, the part when things get crrraaaazy.

Quinn's approach is to invite a team of comedians to discuss a wide range of topics, forgetting, apparently, that hanging out with a gaggle of wisecracking, snarky comedians is about as fun as happy hour at a life-insurance salesman's convention. And that's not to mention the egotism, the self-involvement, and the sheer humorlessness of it all. Quinn appeared in the film "Comedian" -- didn't he bother to watch it? Hasn't he ever seen "Last Comic Standing"? And just how many channels can broadcast Sarah Silverman doing her "Oh, pleeease!" thing at one time?

The best talk shows are the ones that combine innovation and original skits with old-school basics, weaving in only those elements that work for the particular host involved instead of simply signing on for the whole opener-bits-guests-music kit and kaboodle. "The Daily Show," for one, manages to be consistently funny and strange without falling prey to the faux glamour of curtains, swooning fans and house bands.

For alternatives to the alternative talk show, look no further than Tracey Ullman, or, more recently, Ali G or Dave Chappelle, all of whom have mined their distinctive talents while refusing to fall back on a format that isn't appropriate for their strengths. Even Martin Short's "Primetime Glick," as much as it demands an almost superhuman ability to suspend your disbelief, is far more entertaining than watching Carson Daly pretend to care about what "That '70s Show's" Mila Kunis has to say.

Despite their popularity, talk shows are nothing like pizza: When they're amazing, they're pretty good, and when they're just pretty good, they sort of make you want to retch. You'd think the networks would have learned their lesson, since the last time they oversaturated the talk-show market people got so sick of talk they almost quit watching it altogether. Heedless of the glut, the list of new shows grows longer and longer, with talk newbie Ellen DeGeneres jumping into the mix this fall.

High hopes aside, though, many of these shows will wither up and die by first snowfall, sending their disillusioned hosts back to the Sit 'n' Spin for another mournful ride. Tom Green, for one, seems to know that he's chosen a tough path for himself -- the strain shows in his furrowed brow and in the dark circles under his eyes. Still, there's no telling how well he'll do over the long haul based on his first few weeks on the air. He does seem to have a responsive audience and a huge fan base. Maybe with some time to make adjustments, he'll master the basics or find a more original format to showcase his style. Green's outrageousness and lack of boundaries brought him this far, but he's going to need a lot more than that to stay here.

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