"Crossing Jordan"

Jordan is still obsessed by the unsolved murder of her own less-than-June-Cleaverish bipolar mother. In the last episode, she pays a second rambunctious visit to a psychiatric hospital to confab with a supposed catatonic blamed for the murder of his wife and kids. The bodies were never found, and the nodding man insists that he is innocent. He proposes that Jordan spring him in exchange for information on her mother's killer. Fulfilling the dreams of traumatized motherless children everywhere, he leaves her a package containing her mother's personal effects, including the mother lode of Mom secrets, a diary. (You know it's a diary because it says "Diary" on the cover.) This is all Jordan needs to start going off the deep, dark, chocolatey end. Wallace Shawn plays her repressed-memory guide, leading her down the dark hall of her childhood straight into a "Marnie" moment.

Don't say you weren't warned. At the beginning of the season, much was made of the fact that this rogue, sexy version of "Quincy" was emotionally unstable and had been fired from previous jobs for being a hothead with "a penchant for going beyond the call of duty to investigate crimes." After freeing her informant with her usual disregard for protocol, Jordan discovers that she's been set up; he was a killer after all. A parting shot of Jordan trotting off to parts unknown in the driving rain promises another season of emotional instability, bared midriffs and scowling.

"The Bernie Mac Show"

Meanwhile, on the Peabody Award-winning "Bernie Mac Show," similar issues are treated with characteristic grace. Bernie returns to Chicago for the funeral of his uncle Ellister, a neighbor who took the place of Bernie's absent father while he was growing up. He brings the whole family along with him, and discovers, through a series of gastroenterological mishaps, that you really can't go home again and eat hot dogs after having spent several years in L.A. Eldest niece Vanessa attempts to reunite with her drug-addicted mother, only to be mistreated by her former friends and stood up by her mom. Vanessa and Bernie share a few familial insights in the back seat of the car. Vanessa realizes that home is where the love is and Bernie learns that Uncle Ellister is really his father. Which should lead to some interesting unresolved mother issues for Bernie next fall. Uh, Mom?

"Frasier"

It's a cardinal rule of sitcoms that unresolved-sexual-tension issues remain unresolved for the health of the series. On longer-running shows, the temptation ultimately proves too great. After the Daphne-Niles hook-up on "Frasier," it was inevitable that Frasier and Roz would one day have their day in the hay. Well, that day has finally come. Actually, it came before the series finale, which dealt primarily with the issue of whether they would do it again (always the more interesting question). But it looks like the big wedding episode will have to wait until Marty and Eddie finally admit their feelings for each other -- Niles and Daphne are eloping.

"Dawson's Creek"

Relationships were mended on "Dawson's Creek," which reached its seasonal apotheosis in a dramatic airport episode (providing lots of opportunities for running through corridors), as both parental and unresolved-sexual-tension issues reached a frothy climax and travel plans went haywire. After another big kiss-off from Joey, Dawson is slinking back to Los Angeles. Audrey, still mad at Pacey, is traveling with him. In flagrant violation of federal security regulations, Joey and Pacey purchase tickets for flights they don't intend to take, commandeer the intercom system and trot right up to the gate despite being in the wrong terminal. (Joey's ticket is for Paris and Dawson is headed for California; you do the math.) Meanwhile, Jack ditches Jen, moments before they're supposed to leave on a Costa Rican vacation, to spend time with Eric, and Jen ditches her tropical romp in order to patch things up with her chilly parents in the Hamptons. Audrey and Pacey decide to drive to L.A. together; Joey and Dawson discuss their relationship (the Joey-Dawson equivalent of monkey sex). In the afterglow, Joey ditches Dawson for a whirlwind Parisian tour. (Wouldn't you?)

II. Unresolved Relationship Issues

"24"

Well, it looks like everybody's single again. The Palmers, as expected, divorce and Teri kicks the bucket after Nina is discovered to be Yelena-the-mole and shoots up headquarters leaving a trail of dead bodies. It's sad, but then again, it seems like only just this morning Jack and Teri were locked in a chilly ditente following their separation and Jack's affair with Nina/Yelena. Of course, it's been a very long day, and so much has happened since then.

"Will & Grace"

On the ever-popular ticking-clock front, Will and Grace finally admit their feelings for each other -- no, sorry, they decide to have a baby together, opening the door to all sorts of seminal high jinks. Sperm samples and in-vitro clinics? There's got to be a better way! The usually tolerable show descends into special-episode tedium as Grace runs into a pole on her way to the clinic and awakens to a vision of a man on a white horse. It's the very man on a white horse she had effectively given up on ever meeting when she decided to start a family with Will! If anyone involved is thinking straight, the baby buck stops here.

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