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Sunday, Jul 12, 2009
Make me remember Taco Bell commercials! Two new shows torture contestants -- and the audience -- in unique ways.
Jan 31, 2002 | Here's another perspective on the state of the union. Al-Qaida prisoners in Guantanamo Bay may not currently be enjoying the protection of the Geneva Convention, but then, neither are the contestants on ABC and Fox's new torture-can-be-fun shows, "The Chair" and "The Chamber."
Human rights groups have been uncharacteristically quiet because, well, what could be more fun than watching a series of contestants with dreams of paying down their debt willingly submit to public torture for the chance to win $250,000? Hey, what if they were tortured and asked to answer rapid-fire trivia questions about current top-grossing movies and popular consumer products at the same time? OK, what if they promised to pump all their winnings right back into the economy?
Still not convinced? Neither were the Nielsen families. Just days after the show's official premiere, Fox has decided to pull "The Chamber" from its prime-time slot. Meanwhile, though the show must go off, the war between ABC and Fox is sure to be a long one. ABC is suing Fox for stealing its sterling idea, and Fox, which scrambled to air "The Chamber" three days before the premiere of "The Chair," is suing right back. Whether this and both shows' likely cancellation will lead to a new one in which network executives willingly submit to extreme mental anguish ("The Conference Room"? "The Commissary"?) for the chance to develop again is as yet unclear.
There is, as they say, a passing resemblance. Both shows feature restrained contestants connected to heart monitors. Both factor stress and heart-rate levels into the score. Both would benefit from an appearance by Dick Cheney. ("Dick has signed a release and is fully aware of the risk he is about to take.") But "The Chamber" is definitely the more disturbing of the two, with its forbidding, Death Star-inspired set and pouting, ultraserious host, Rick Schwartz. (Rick, it seems, is no stranger to danger and possible human rights violations; according to his online bio, "an interest in journalism compelled him to lead an international fact-finding mission to Yugoslavia during the Persian Gulf War ... Rick was able to land interviews with then Serbian President Slobodan Milosevic and Croatian President Franjo Tudjman ... he was also detained in Austria as a terrorist and held at gunpoint for hours. Luckily the authorities realized the mistake.")
Before someone is chosen to enter "The Chamber," aspiring contestants must "face off in a duel of the minds."
"These questions might appear simple," Schwartz explains, "but add the pressure of a face-off and the difficulty increases.
"Kimberly, name the celebrities that have been named 'People's Sexiest Man Alive.'"
Once a contestant has been stripped down and strapped into "The Chamber," the so-called steel hellhole turns to either hot or cold mode. "Hot" equals 150-degree heat, hurricane-force winds, flames, heaters, chair rotations of 360 degrees, sharp chair vibrations, an electronic muscle contractor and earthquake simulation. "Cold" equals 20 degrees below zero, while "cold water is shot at the contestant's face and upper body and frost is released, causing ice to form on the contestant's head." Also, wind, shaking, contractions, etc., etc., blah, blah, blah.
Meanwhile, this:
"In its TV ads, which fast food company touts the weight loss of its customer Jared Fogle?"
"America shops at what national retailer that is the exclusive dealer of Kenmore appliances?"
"What added flavor turns Pepsi into Pepsi twist?"
"The name of what brand of bananas is the Spanish word meaning 'little girl?'"
