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Wednesday, Nov 25, 2009
Tequila! Kung fu! Spandex wedgies! Catching an end-of-summer buzz with ex-Van Halen frontmen Sammy Hagar and David Lee Roth's nonreunion tour.
Sep 5, 2002 | Sammy Hagar is beating a 20-foot-tall blue tequila bottle with a guitar. Video clips of busty girls frolicking on spring break play on a 30-by-60-foot video screen over his head. A man behind me with a rebellious look in his eye thrusts his right fist into the air. He could be a middle-aged version of the boy in "The Power of One," except for the David Cassidy part in his hair, the thick gold chain around his neck and his black T-shirt embossed with the enigmatic slogan "It's not just football!"
Hagar hauls back his red Stratocaster and takes a swing. His yellow "Got Tequila?" T-shirt is drenched in sweat and cinches around his arm, restricting his windup. His blue-and-yellow Jams -- not shorts that look like Jams, but Jams, from 1984 -- threaten to wedgie. He makes contact, the tequila bottle cracks and streamers and confetti shoot at the crowd. The ex-Van Halen frontman sticks out his chest and subsequently his middle-aged belly, and the crowd chants, "Sammy! Sammy!" He is a demigod on stage. He is Bono on agave.
I stand in the 20th row of the Champlain Valley Fair stadium, just outside Burlington, Vt., among 7,000 Van Halen fans. Beyond the fairgrounds, green fields studded with white-and-black Holsteins stretch toward Canada and Lake Champlain. I am not at the concert entirely of my own volition. My friend bought me a $42 ticket and asked me to accompany him. Still, I have torn the sleeves off my T-shirt. I am pumping my fists to the music. I can't help it, the scene is surreal. It's outrageous, fantastic. Sammy Hagar has re-created 1988.
But not for long. This is the first volley in a bizarre rock 'n' roll battle that kicked off May 29 at Cleveland's Blossom Center and will wrap up Saturday, Sept. 7, in Las Vegas. Hagar's world is about to crash down around him. A man is sitting backstage, ready to tear it apart. The man is anxious, thrumming his fingers, listening to the hum of the bus generator as he applies layer upon layer of makeup.
He is the last person a Van Halen fan would expect to see at a Sammy Hagar show, and he is plotting to blow Sammy away. He's said it to the press. He's said it to Sammy. He is Diamond David Lee Roth, and as far as he is concerned, when Van Halen replaced him with Sammy Hagar in 1986, the flagship band of '80s hard rock ceased to exist.
Hagar spins around and around through the confetti, under the lights, his arms out to the side like Jesus, or Job. He is 53 and exhausted at the end of a 90-minute set, not to mention a 30-year career. He is also wasted. He downs three margaritas by the time he sings "Why Can't This Be Love" -- Van Halen's first hit single with the new singer in 1986 -- halfway through the set. The alcohol loosens him up, and at the end of the song Hagar grabs the mike and exclaims in his rough, signature howl, "It doesn't get any better than this! 'Cause Sammy's starting to cop a little buzz!" Then he rears back and kicks his leg, but his knee is bent and he looks like he is trying to step over a low fence.
It is incredible and sad at once, the last gasp of an international rock 'n' roll star. Images of George Foreman and Elvis in their comeback bids come to mind. Hagar tries to drink two Coronas at the same time later in the song and creates a foamy mess, not to mention the ensuing awkward silence reminiscent of church supper performances when the performer looks like he might actually be having a better time than the audience.
Hagar's stage is set up like a cantina, and he treats it like one as he shamelessly promotes his personal brand of Cabo Wabo tequila with banners and gimmicks. His show is obscene. It is the '80s to a T. A vintage video of Hagar driving a black Ferrari flickers on the screen behind him when he sings "I Can't Drive 55," the smash single on his 1984 solo album, "VOA." On "Mas Tequila," he grabs a trumpet and, with a little help from the synthesizer, lays down a solo that ends with fireworks shooting out of the instrument.
While Roth preens his platinum hair and prepares to take the stage, Hagar kicks his show into high gear, bringing 40 fans seated on either side of the drums to the mike for his closing tune, "Dreams." It's a sentimental classic from "5150," and Hagar's band, the Waboritas, nail it. Near the end of the song, Hagar is manhandled by a fan in a collarless white button-down shirt. Hagar fends him off and yells, "You guys are fucking awesome!" Then he launches into a series of oddly timed jumping jacks.
