Was leaving school a hard decision?

No. It was so clear, so "This is it." My parents were like, uh-huh. They tried to talk me out of it for a long time and then just let me go. I was very determined. They've been so supportive. It must have been hard for them because I was basically giving away my education, but in a way, I've been educated through making films. You know, you learn through all the different locations and the emotional lives of all the different characters you play -- and also the countries that I've had the good fortune to work in or do press in.

I mean, initially, it was hard. When "Muriel's Wedding" came out, I think I traveled around the world for about a year doing press and for the majority of it I was alone. I don't know where the hell the director was. Rachel [Griffiths] joined in at some point. But it was me, it was just me out there selling it, and I'd end up in the hotel room by myself, at 21, wanting to explore but being too scared. No one to go out with. It was strange, but you know, you grow up and you get used to what you're doing and it's not so scary anymore. It's in a healthy context now, and I'm also much more settled. I have a home and I have a husband. Life feels safer in a way, you know?

I know you have a very spiritual, holistic approach to life. When did that develop for you?

I guess once I left home and started living my own life. I just think that Western medicine doesn't really treat the core problems; it just eradicates the surface problem. It doesn't really deal with why it's presenting itself or where it initiated. And in terms of my spiritual outlook, well, I think we're all inherently spiritual. I think it's the most important part of who we are. It makes us who we are. I'm not religious, but I think there's a lot to learn from all religions. I guess the religion I respect the most and understand most clearly is Buddhism.

You had a Zen wedding, didn't you?

It was sort of a hodgepodge of a whole heap of alternative things, but we did have some Tibetan Buddhist monks doing their chanting. It was very special. It's so funny, because I always say to my husband, "I want to do it again."

How Muriel of you!

But it was so beautiful. It was outside and we were on our own property, surrounded by trees. It had been raining and the sky cleared up and literally there were these golden rays of light cutting through the trees and lighting us up. And we had these beautiful monks and it just created the most amazing atmosphere. It was very special. I mean, all weddings are, but really it was just such a love-filled day. It's the most potent feeling. Everyone was so uplifted. It was just so positive and so full of purity.

I think there are too few celebrations in the Western world. We don't have rituals. We don't have any great sense of celebrating time passing and certain achievements. We just put our heads down and get on with work. And I think it's really healthy and such a good idea to make a point of celebrating things that we appreciate.

I have to ask you about getting your perfectly healthy appendix removed when you were a kid.

Ugh. I wish I'd never talked about it. I think it's really weird myself. I don't understand why I did it and in retrospect I think, wow, what a weird little child. My mother had told me that when she was 11 she'd had her appendix out and that it was really strange because when the doctor pressed into your stomach, you couldn't feel it -- it's when he released that you felt a lot of pain. So I thought, well ... I did wake up that morning with a slight pain. It certainly wasn't appendicitis, but yeah, I went to the doctor, the specialist, when he pressed in, it didn't hurt, pulled out -- "Ahh!"

I was rushed to the hospital and cut open that day and they took it out. I think the doctor was slightly miffed and came in saying, "Yes, they were slightly infected." But the best part of it for me -- I mean, I was good at school. It wasn't about getting out of school. I enjoyed school -- but I do remember this honeymoon period after getting my appendix out where I got to lie on the couch and watch "The Sound of Music" over and over and over again on our first, very new VCR. So it was a good time.

The other memory is my two brothers coming in to visit me in the hospital bed and one of them was eating burger rings, do you remember those? It's just like these round chips and they taste like a savory burger.

They sound horrible.

Yeah, I used to love them, but I smelled it and I was, like, get 'em out of here, and I almost vomited. That's as clear as it gets. But as far as rationalizing or making that whole ordeal valid, I can't do it. I just don't know what I was doing. Dunno.

You gained 40 pounds in seven weeks for "Muriel's Wedding." When Renée Zellweger was getting all that love for the few pounds she put on for "Bridget Jones's Diary," did you feel like, "Hello, I did it and I did it more"? And do you think gaining weight for a part is a brave thing for an actress to do?

When I did "Muriel's Wedding," I didn't call myself an actor. I wanted to act and I couldn't believe that I got it, although when I got it -- it was the same with "Japanese Story," in fact probably more intense -- it was like a religious experience, it was like, I have to do this. They can't cast anyone else. I have to do it. Putting on the weight was just part of Muriel. I didn't think twice about it, you know.

Now, thinking about it, I think how fortunate I was, because the older you get, the harder it is to remain healthy. I was young enough to be able to put it on and then just take it off again, although it probably did mess with my metabolism for a while. I don't know whether I could do it again now. It was pretty extreme. But I certainly don't regret it. It was hard. I mean, it was very enjoyable at first and then having to maintain the weight was a chore, constantly eating, eating, eating.

It sounds dreamy to me.

But if you're forced to do it. I mean, yeah, the first month, you know, kicking back. As soon as I found out I had the role. I called one of my best friends [Daniel Wyllie] -- we both did our first film together, called "Spotswood," and he was also cast as Perry, my brother in "Muriel's Wedding" -- and he came and picked me up. We went to Chinatown and we feasted up and it was great fun, but then I was literally working every day and it was affecting my energy and I was coming home from work and not having dinner. I would just collapse I would be so tired and then I'd get up and get through the day just eating, eating, eating.

Getting back to "Japanese Story" for one last question. Today's Sydney Morning Herald said it was a great mystery: "Why did Toni Collette put on the Japanese businessman's trousers before getting into bed with him? Do Japanese men require this dress code of Western women with whom they are having sex? Or was it simply a way to conceal pubic hair and get past Japan's censorship code?" Why did you put on the pants in the big love scene in "Japanese Story"?

I think that it was metaphoric in a couple of ways. It's the moment when these two people are finally opening up, not only to each other but to somebody in general, because they're quite closed. So it's like her stepping into his skin in a way. I also think that, because he's Japanese and it's such a traditional culture, he's used to women being subservient and she's so loud and forthright and seemingly aggressive and robust that for her to wear the pants is like literally she's wearing the pants. The other thing I thought of, which wasn't so apparent at the time, is that because it is the first time she's opening up to someone it's just a way of still having something hidden. It's scary to be so intimate.

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