Sex and the single songwriter

How did you get involved with "The Opposite of Sex"?

My agent called and told me about the script. I have no idea how my name came up for the role, but I really liked the script, really liked the writing. It's the biggest role I've had, and I spent more time in front of the camera than I have before, which was actually sort of comforting. I got to actually get into a bit of a groove with the work, and figure things out a bit.

When I play music, it's sort of my responsibility -- the whole deal of doing the record, that's my job. To get to be a part of somebody else's job is a lot of fun. Don [Roos, the director] is so smart, such a great writer, and working with smart people who are passionate about what they're doing is a great job. It's like getting to be a guy in the band.

Tell me about your character in the film.

Carl is one of the most clear-in-his-own-mind characters in the film. He knows what he's about. He's not unflawed, but he knows what he's done in his own life and deals with it in a very straightforward way -- doesn't make excuses for himself, knows what he wants. He's the only character in the film who pursues his desire for sex in a straightforward, unself-conscious way. He's very consistent. I'd like to come off like Carl.

Looking at the characters you've played in films -- the baker in "Short Cuts," the sheriff in "The Player," Carl in "The Opposite of Sex" -- there seems to be an essential decency about all of them.

If that's the reason I get selected for certain roles, or if that's the quality that comes through, I would be happy about that.

Robert Altman once said that you represent art without irony.

Huh! Altman's cool. He's so insightful about people. He gets right to the heart of the matter, whatever it is, and just strips away any pretense, any bullshit. He just gets right to it.

Are you going to work with him again?

This summer, in a film called "Cookie's Fortune." It's sort of a murder mystery, set in the South. I play Manny, who runs the catfish place where one of the main characters, played by Liv Tyler, is employed. And Manny sort of has a crush on her, it's a sort of flirtatious relationship. But Manny's an old guy like me, and he's married. And essentially decent.

How was working with Christina Ricci?

Great. She's great. We didn't have many scenes together, but she was around, hanging out. I just think she was perfect. Christina is so straightforward herself, and that straightforward, unself-conscious quality that she brought to the role of DeDee, I think she did that role in a way nobody else could. When you listen to the narration, you can almost hear Don saying the lines himself, but she delivered it in a way nobody else could have. She's heavy.

So what is the opposite of sex?

The opposite of sex is ... sex. The opposite of sex is everything that comes with sex that you think of as not being part of sex. Like all of the feelings -- the actual responsibility, the actual caring for someone, the potential to lose someone. The opposite of sex is everything besides the physical, and it all sort of underscores that sex is very important. It's all the same, you can't have one without the other. The true opposite of sex is nonexistence.

What do you think about what Ricci's character DeDee says at the end of the film, that sex is too much trouble?

She doesn't mean it.

But a lot of people would agree with her.

Sure. Oh, sure. But that's life. Life is experiencing all the joy, and the pain, and the loss. Ultimately we all die, and the struggle of life is to keep that in perspective, and not let the ultimate outcome discount any of what lies between.

Do you think you're able to do that?

It's something I strive to be ever mindful of. And not always with as great success as I'd like. You have ups and downs. But what's the alternative? How do you protect yourself? Get cable and watch a lot of TV?

Do you ever see a film because it features an actor you really love?

An actor I really admire for the choices he makes, and his unconventional approach, is Johnny Depp, because I think Johnny could be so mainstream, he could be knocking them over the center-field fence all day long if he wanted to. But he makes such interesting choices, and he's so talented as an actor. I know that if Johnny Depp decides to do something, then there's really something to it.

The characters you play in your movies, and also some of the characters you create in your songs, seem to be coming out of a place of pain.

Well, it's easier to write about painful things, things that you're trying to work through.

Do you think you'll ever stop writing music?

I don't know. Writing is so difficult, every time I write a song I like, I'm not sure if I can ever do it again.

What was the last song you wrote you felt that way about?

I feel that almost every time. Making up stuff is hard. Having a good idea is hard. Saying something in a way that hasn't been done, it's hard.

Do you see yourself ever getting married again?

Sure, I'm not opposed to the idea. The goal of marriage is not ... marriage and children is not the goal, the goal is to love someone.

But are you worried that being too happy would cause you to lose your creative spark?

I'd love to be too happy and lose my creativity. I would.

A lot of articles have been written about Linda McCartney suggesting that Paul was too happy with her -- that he just wrote silly love songs about her, and never developed as an artist because he was too content. Do you think that pain is necessary to the creative process?

That's really horrible. Great art is not what we should aspire to in life. We should aspire to lead a good life. Art is not life. It can be life support, it can be a byproduct of life. A person's art should reflect his life, but first you need to live your life. If Paul McCartney never wrote a song after he met Linda, so what? He wrote a lot of great songs before that. It's poetic, in a way, the whole idea that James Dean will live forever; when an artist just stops, it has a similar quality -- there's a mystery to it. I find it very intriguing.

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