Site Presented By
Thursday, Nov 26, 2009
Plenty of pop cultural anthropologists -- not to mention the publicists at Bravo -- would be happy to sum up this movement as the direct result of the popularity of "Queer Eye," but the shift predates the premiere of "Queer Eye" two years ago. These guys aren't new to the game, having just recently cleaned up and polished their looks. They've been into this stuff since they danced along to "New Kids on the Block" when they were in diapers.
Still, when the hosts of "Strip Search" announce that the guys get to go on a shopping trip, and the room explodes into cheering and high-fives, it's like watching the tides change suddenly and drastically. Even the two hosts laugh and look at each other, completely confused. "Oh my god, they're so excited! I had no idea they were gonna get that excited!" Downstairs, we cut to the guys singing together, "We're going shopping! We're going shopping!" as they hurriedly change clothes to leave.
What's really interesting about "Strip Search" is that many of the guys aren't dancers, have no experience performing, and didn't necessarily consider becoming strippers before they auditioned in their hometowns. Nonetheless, they're all extremely determined to make the final troupe of seven men, fashioned after the popular male revue "Thunder From Down Under."
"I know everybody in this house wants it more than anything," says Jason, 19. "This is everybody's chance. This is everybody's ticket."
And so we watch them snap and shimmy through dance routines around the clock, stopping only to swill beer, give each other hell, and rub self-tanning lotion onto each other's backs. Keep in mind, these are guys who actually see the term "pretty boy" as a compliment. "I don't mean to be vain or arrogant but I think myself, Sean and Ryan are the pretty boys of the house," says Brian, who's a cable technician from Kentucky, "Because I think that we're probably the top as far as body-wise, and we always have a good time."
Shiny, smooth-chested, meticulously styled Danny of "The Real World: Austin" has similar kind words for his buddy in the house, shiny, smooth-chested, meticulously styled Wes. "Wes is a typical frat guy," says Danny, "and I love that about him! We get along great."
It's no wonder they get along great: They both love ogling the hot girls in the house, high-fiving, getting drunk, and jumping in the hot tub. Does Danny know that Wes gyrated in a G-string in his audition tape, or that his secret dream is to become a stripper? Somehow, given the nature of their friendship, which seems to alternate between macho posturing (puffed chests and "whatever, dude" nonchalance) and girlish gushing (grinning, giggling and confessional talks about which girls they like the most), this new bit of information shouldn't be a problem.
Then there are the boys of VH1's "Kept," who compete with startling sincerity to be Jerry Hall's arm candy. The guys are not only willing to jump through absurd hoops to win Hall's favor, from learning table manners to posing nude, but they become very jealous when one of the other guys has a successful date with Hall -- successful meaning he makes pleasant small talk and kisses up to her fabulous friends with enthusiasm.
That's not to say that Hall is looking for a pretty boy: When Ricardo, a self-involved guy who talks endlessly about his good genes, substitutes a strip tease for an improvised dance, Hall and her friends roll their eyes and send him packing. The other guys certainly see Ricardo and his primping sidekick Slavco as a joke, but they've all surrendered themselves to Hall's wishes and don't seem at all ashamed at the thought of assuming a very public role as Hall's trophy boyfriend.
You would think that "Average Joe: The Joes Strike Back" might offer one last stronghold against the smoothie onslaught, but no such luck. In its first season, this show was trumpeted as a chance for a regular-looking guy to win the heart of a hot babe, but the producers couldn't help slipping a few smoothies in at the last second. This season, not only is the usual herd of smoothies invading just when the skinny nerds and big, hairy guys are starting to get some game, but each week, one of the rejected regular joes returns after an extreme makeover. The first reject, Nick, a dorky magician, gets a haircut, some new clothes, a little cosmetic dentistry, and plastic surgery to remove extra fat under his eyes and to help define his jaw line. He's also told by a lifestyle coach not to talk about magic or show girls magic tricks quite so often. In other words, act like your head is made of hamburger, just like a smoothie! The results? Nick doesn't look any better, and now he's sure to have no personality whatsoever.
