Wayne Newton, singer. Nervous apology.

I decided I'd had it with being a sissy joke, and that's when I confronted Johnny Carson. Wherever I went, I used to hear that Carson was telling gay jokes about me. I sent him messages asking him to stop. Then, one night in 1973, I was watching his show and during his monologue he said, "I saw Wayne Newton and Liberace together in a pink bathtub. What do you think that meant?" I got so incensed that I decided to do something about it ...

Driving over, I hardly spoke a word. When I get angry I tend to be like the calm before the storm. And this thing had been building for a long time. When I walked into Carson's outer office, his secretary said, "Can I help you?" I said, "No, thank you. I think he can." I walked right past her and into Carson's office ... Carson just sat there ... shocked ... I remember every word I told Carson. I said, "I am here because I'm going through a personal dilemma in my life. I want to know what child of yours I've killed. I want to know what food of yours I've taken out of your mouth. I want to know what I've done that's so devastating to you that you persist in shooting at me with those persistent gay jokes." Carson's face went white. He said, "But Wayne, I don't write these things." I told him I'd feel better if he did and he asked me why. I said, "because at least it would mean that you're not a puppet, that you aren't just reading malicious lies written by some writer who crawled out from under a rock. It would be better if you did hate me. At least you'd have a reason for your lies. I'm telling you right now it had better stop or I'll knock you on your ass." Carson was shaken. He said, "I promise you nothing was ever intended in a malicious way. I've always been a big fan." And then he went through all this crap about how much he liked me. He just kept talking and it was obviously a nervous apology. But he never again told Wayne Newton jokes. In fact, I even did his show after that. (Burbank, Calif., 1973)

From "Once Before I Go," by Wayne Newton with Dick Maurice (William Morrow, 1989)

Maggie Kuhn, advocate for the elderly. Taking initiative.

I remember the first time I was on Johnny Carson in 1974. I think Carson probably intended to make fun of me -- you know, Grandma Moses takes on the world. But I have learned that on talk shows you have to take initiative. Before Johnny could question me, I leaned forward and said, in a beguiling tone, "Johnny, I'm so glad you don't dye your hair. Your gray hair is becoming." He was flustered and pleased. He smoothed his hair, straightened his tie, and smiled. (Los Angeles, 1974)

From "No Stone Unturned: The Life and Times of Maggie Kuhn," by Maggie Kuhn with Laura Quinn (Ballantine, 1990)

Suzanne Somers, actress. His "touching lady."

"And now," I heard Johnny say, "we have a beautiful young actress. She's just written a book of poems called 'Touch Me' (and I sure would like to! Ha! Ha! Ha!), but you are all going to know her as" (I wondered what he was going to say) "the beautiful blonde in the '57 white Thunderbird in American Graffiti. Would you welcome Suzanne Somers!"

Johnny asked me where I was from and how long I'd been in Los Angeles.

"One week," I told him honestly.

"Well, you sure don't waste any time," he said, laughing.

I was booked on "The Tonight Show" about every six weeks. It amazed me. Johnny really liked talking to me. I would read poetry and make him laugh. He told me I was "refreshing." We did touching demos, playing on the title of my book. We touched everything you could legally touch on television. I became known as the "touching lady." (Los Angeles, mid-1970s)

From "Keeping Secrets," by Suzanne Somers (Warner Books, 1988)

Jay Leno, TV talk show host. Advice.

One night, he [Harvey Korman] brought Johnny Carson into the L.A. Improv specifically to see me and a few other comedians he liked. Of course, this sent an electric current through the place. Johnny was in the house! The mountain had come to us! It was thrilling and also a bit intimidating. But we all went up and did our acts, trying not to be self-conscious or, at least, not to look like idiots. On my way out, I approached their table and said to Johnny, "Thank you for coming in, sir."

And he said very genuinely, "That was funny stuff, but you're not quite ready. Your jokes are too far apart and you don't have enough of them. You're getting good laughs, but you need more jokes." (Los Angeles, mid-1970s)

From "Leading With My Chin," by Jay Leno with Bill Zehme (HarperCollins, 1996)

Dolly Parton, country singer. "Great relationship."

... on "The Tonight Show" on my birthday in 1977. That was when I first became aware of the power of big-time television and what it could do for a person's career. It doesn't hurt your record sales any either. Johnny got a huge laugh when he pretended to be fixated by my bosoms for a while and finally said, "I'd give a week's pay to look under that shirt."

I always had a great relationship with Johnny Carson, although I never saw him except on the panel during the show. It became something of a tradition. He would always come to my dressing room and knock on the door before the show, but I would never come out. After a while, he knew I wasn't coming out, but he played along with the custom as if we were a bride and groom before a wedding. When we were on the set, we always talked and laughed and had a great time. People would think we had been friends forever. (Los Angeles, 1977)

From "Dolly: My Life and Other Unfinished Business," by Dolly Parton (HarperCollins, 1994)

Kenneth Tynan, drama critic. "Midshipman."

... a dinner party tonight at the Beverly Hills home of Irving Lazar, doyen of agents and agent of doyens ... the male latecomer who now enters, lean and dapper in an indigo blazer, white slacks, and a pale-blue open-necked shirt ... he arrives alone (his wife, Joanna, has stopped off in New York for a few days' shopping), greets his host with the familiar smile, cordially wry, and scans the assembly, his eyes twinkling like icicles. Hard to believe, despite the pewter-colored hair, that he is fifty-one: he holds himself like the midshipman he once was, chin well tucked in, back as straight as a poker.

... thirty minutes later, Carson is sitting by the pool, where four or five people have joined him. He chats with impersonal affability, making no effort to dominate, charm, or amuse ...

Meeting him a few days afterward, I enquire what he thought of the party. He half grins, half winces. "Torturous?" he says. (Beverly Hills, Ca., 1977)

From "Show People: Profiles in Entertainment," by Kenneth Tynan (Simon and Schuster, 1979)

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