Star Jones gets married, pushes the boundaries of decency in ways the FCC, alas, can't touch!
What is it about Star Jones' love of the freebie that so fascinates us? I mean, what celebrity doesn't like a goody bag? Yet, truly, is there any celebrity in recent memory who has loved a freebie so deeply, so passionately and so fiercely as this big-boned bridezilla? The brazen shamelessness with which Jones went about soliciting vendors to donate their goods and services to her gala nuptials last month was far more astonishing than her groom's past (or maybe not so past) on the gay club scene -- or even his bachelor party, which featured no naked women but lots and lots of somber-faced, shivering naked men.

Less shocking still was Jones' post-wedding, pre-honeymoon scuffle with her "View" costars for daring to switch seats at their assigned table so as to sit next to one another and for -- gasp! -- trying to snap a photo of the happy couple. At last, just this month, a gardener who was promised free publicity in return for work he did on Jones' roof has filed a lawsuit against her for failing to hold up her end of the freebie bargain. Perhaps his experience will serve as a cautionary tale to other vendors considering hitching their wagons to this immensely opportunistic Star.

Paris Hilton's second, more damning porn video leaks out, proving once and for all that she's all bucks, no brains.
Way back in November 2003, the world got its first grainy view of Paris Hilton preening, pouting and getting it on with one of her many, many boyfriends. But just this past September, another Hilton video -- this one 12 hours of fun, apparently filmed after that Hilton classic now known as "One Night in Paris," and possibly stolen from Hilton's Hollywood home -- made its way into the hands of a Los Angeles-based reporter for Britain's News of the World, who promptly began giving interviews describing its contents.

There's Paris "making love" in the back of a car with Nick Carter, greeting previous beau Jason Shaw clad in nothing but her birthday suit and a smile, and rolling a joint. And then there's something far worse: Hilton using the N-word to describe two African-American men she meets along the way: "Dumb n-----s" is what she's said to have called them.

Hilton issued a statement denying that she would use such a word, saying, "I am not a person who discriminates against anyone -- ever." But her "former friend" and fellow person of privilege Brandon Davis told the National Enquirer that Hilton did use the N-word ... regularly.

All told, it was a year of ups (the safe return of her lost Chihuahua Tinkerbell; the publication of her book, "Confessions of an Heiress") and downs (the embarrassing disclosure that her dog may not have been lost at all but, rather, forgotten at the home of her grandparents; the big-time belly-flopping of said book) for Paris. But at least she caught most of it on tape. Could someone remind me why we care about this woman? And is there a better metaphor for her mysterious rise than her ballyhooed modeling gig with jeans-maker Guess? -- when she has virtually no booty to speak of?

Liza Minnelli's disintegration continues. And David Gest's not doing so well either.
What's that? You thought things couldn't get any worse for Liza Minnelli (who was rushed to the hospital this week after falling out of bed and hitting her head) once her scarily plastic, control-freak husband David Gest hit the highway, leaving behind a trail of allegations of bad behavior on her part (drinking, verbally abusing him, beating him "about his head")? How wrong you were. In October, she discomfited her fellow revelers at the wrap party for Outkast's movie musical "Speakerboxxx/The Love Below" by downing a couple of shots of bourbon and performing an "incoherent and rambling" solo onstage until she was rescued by the band Fishbone. Then -- and really, who could have seen this one coming? -- Liza's longtime chauffeur and bodyguard filed a $100 million lawsuit against her, claiming that she not only beat him, spat on him and cheated him out of $89,000 in back wages after wrongly terminating him but also "hit and assaulted" him and forced him to have sex with her during his 10 years in her employ.

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