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Sunday, Nov 22, 2009
Girls, before you turn 18, read this! Expert advice about becoming a woman from Janice Dickinson, J.T. LeRoy, Annie Sprinkle, a Ying Yang twin and more.
Jun 10, 2004 | Once upon a time, way back in the late '80s, there was a baby princess. Her name was Ashley Olsen, and she had a cute little dollop of a nose and wide green eyes. But this was no ordinary baby princess. Just after she was born, a kindly old witch had put a spell on her, and according to the spell, Ashley would live a fabulous, charmed life with all the riches and jewels she could possibly imagine. So that Ashley would never be lonely, the witch made another baby princess several minutes later that looked and sounded exactly like the first. She was named Mary-Kate Olsen, and she fell under the same spell. All who laid eyes upon the princesses would become instantly smitten. Other young girls, especially, would become obsessed with them and would do anything to be just like Ashley and Mary-Kate.
The two grew up in a Full House with lots of nice, attractive fairy godparents to coddle them, to compliment them, to laugh uproariously at their bewildered recitations of lines like "That's cool!" and "Right on!" And after the Full House emptied, they embarked on a series of deliriously fun high jinks, traveling around the world in search of adventure, excitement and wealth.
But it all had a catch: At the stroke of midnight before their 18th birthday -- this Sunday -- Ashley and Mary-Kate would suddenly turn into real women, and would face the same curses, difficulties and challenges that all flesh-and-blood girls are forced to confront when they become adults. They would no longer be protected from destructive rumors and evil lies. They would be publicly taunted with promises of unconditional love and endless romance. No, they wouldn't have to worry about piddling issues like rent or food -- they would now inherit their own billion-dollar merchandising empire, Dualstar Entertainment -- but now that their guardians and managers would no longer be able to tell them what to do with their money, they would have to think for themselves and control their own future. Worst of all, the hordes of little girls who worshipped them would suddenly wake up and see them for what they really were: Women, subject to the same foibles and missteps as anyone else.
Will they live happily ever after? We've consulted with a wide range of experts to help guide the girls in their merry path to womanhood. Listen closely, girls. With the right advice you could be Doublemint Jodie Foster or Sarah Jessica Parker -- or guest stars on the 2014 season of "The Surreal Life."
Atoosa Rubenstein, editor in chief of Seventeen
Since we're featuring the Olsen twins on special front and back covers for our July issue, I've actually been thinking about them a lot recently. If the Olsen twins want to mature into adult credibility, A-list cred, they've got to be aware of rule No. 1: they can't continue to create cheesy projects for the express purpose of increasing revenue. They need to put quality over quantity. The fact that "New York Minute" was such a financial and critical disappointment really says something about them and the way their standard model is floundering. They have a major challenge ahead of them right now.
When the girls were here for the shoot, they were really terrific. Contrary to what many people think, the Olsens are not cheesy, in fact, they've very down-to-earth. They're the kind of girls who, if you ask them about their virginity, they clam right up, like it's none of your business. That's a nice quality today, when so many young girls in the entertainment industry will just blab on and on in answer to whatever question is thrown their way. The Olsens have a nice maturity about them; now they just need to reflect that in their work.
