Fictionalize, then apologize. Stephen Glass told monumental, audacious lies. He created characters and situations out of thin air and wrote elaborate features on them. Once his lies were discovered, Glass channeled his obvious skills as a storyteller into a novel about a liar just like himself, only different. When the movie about his life, "Shattered Glass," came out this year, Glass humbly stepped into the spotlight again, describing the film as his own personal "horror movie." He also apologized to those he hurt, spoke of regrets and analyzed his behavior from afar, all the while preparing to become -- what else? -- a lawyer. Journalists have rehashed the Glass story obsessively, tirelessly ruminating on the parable he presents. "How dare he be compensated for his lies!" they fumed, and then invited him to appear on their shows. And when Glass stuttered and turned pale and insulted himself on cue, they were still left wondering if he was really, truly sorry or not. After all, he seemed really sorry, but maybe that was just another act, one custom-made to sell his new novel! The real question is, why would we turn to this infamous storyteller for anything but stories?

That's entertainment! This was the year that lies were told repeatedly and shamelessly, all for the sake of ratings. Tune in for the moment when he finds out his new boyfriend is actually straight! Watch, as the hot girl pulls off her fat-suit disguise and reveals that she heard what her would-be suitors said about her behind her heavily prostheticized back -- it was all captured on a hidden camera! See the look on the chump's face when he finds out the reality show he's been a part of is entirely fake, and that his new friends, whom he's been living with for weeks, are actually paid actors! While we're quick to separate entertainment from real life -- "It was just a game! It all turned out fine in the end!" -- how much more effectively could the networks encourage lying than by letting us participate in the raw fun and excitement of telling lies? Still, reality TV has bloomed under the approving glow of audiences who accept that those who participate in such programs can and should be manipulated, shamed and lied to repeatedly. Just as our tolerance for one lie expires, producers dream up new lies, and soon we encounter so much deceit and manipulation that we begin to believe that entertainment and lies are necessary bedfellows -- even when real human beings' lives and reputations are toyed with.

Play the underdog What better way to spin your lies than by pretending that your deceptions were just another way of "sticking it to the man"? After he admitted to filing dozens of phony or plagiarized stories, Jayson Blair not only got a book deal, but chose a title for his memoir that only a deceiver could love: "Burning Down My Master's House: My Life at the New York Times." Wouldn't you know it? Blair's lies weren't the missteps of a bumbling, blindly ambitious buffoon, but just one small part of an elaborate plan to bring disgrace on one of the most powerful voices of the white man! Only a master of duplicity could spin such a disgrace into an honorable struggle against the same institution that was his amiable benefactor just months earlier.

America, you've been Punk'd! Given how tough it is for celebrities to gain street cred with the cool kids, you have to hand it to Ashton Kutcher. Instead of getting schooled for being the host of some MTV show, Kutcher wisely positioned himself as a traitor to his class, a devil-may-care crusader out to embarrass and offend the stuck-up, spoiled inhabitants of tinseltown. Forget that Kutcher's glee in tricking, manipulating and humiliating celebrities flies in the face of his celebrity-embracing lifestyle -- Frankie Muniz looks so funny when he's mad! And like any good lie, "Punk'd" fueled a wave of second-guessing. Why did the celebrities seem less and less surprised during the second season? Were they in on the joke? Is that why the show ended so quickly? Was the entire show a lie from the start? Is Kutcher punking America? Does it really matter either way?

Hush, now, don't explain. The president's claims that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction was easily the biggest lie of the year. Strange, then, that months after his State of the Union statement that the administration's evidence left "no doubt" that weapons of mass destruction existed in Iraq, President Bush still hasn't been forced to explain himself, nor has he apologized for duping the American people by allowing them to believe that the imminent threat of WMD in Iraq justified an immediate invasion. Even if WMD turn up now, the administration has failed to produce the preponderance of evidence that we were repeatedly led to believe existed. Bush pulled this off not only by refusing to admit guilt, but by sidestepping the entire question, continuing to distort the facts by discussing 9/11 and the need to "battle terrorism" in the same breath with Iraq. Sadly, the American public has the patience of a hyperactive squirrel, and the tough questions only come for so long. Eventually, the country seems to resign itself to never really knowing the truth, or never getting a reasonable response to a serious allegation. Just as our problems in Iraq seemed to be registering with the public, we capture Saddam -- and Bush's poll ratings soar. The second he seems to be winning, all previous trespasses are forgiven or forgotten.

Pride goeth before -- and after -- the fall When you've lied early and often, don't be afraid to openly announce to the world that you're a liar. If you make that twisted web of deceit sound like a nuanced plan of attack, they might just admire you for it. Sometimes the easiest way to win the public's love and approval is by playing into their fear and loathing. Look how well it works for Dennis Rodman, Courtney Love, Eminem and any number of high-profile stars with apparent sociopathic tendencies. "Survivor's" Jon Dalton has always been an outspoken fan of wrestling -- so what better way to secure fame in a realm that glorifies infamy, than by inspiring an audience of millions to hate him? It's only a matter of time before Dalton's knack for proudly flaunting his lies wins him a permanent spot in this subculture's limelight.

In formulating a plan of attack, some potential liars might be daunted by the countless books, many on the bestseller list, with titles about lies and lying: "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them," by Al Franken; "The Lies of George W. Bush," by David Corn; "The Five Biggest Lies Bush Told Us About Iraq," by Christopher Scheer; or "Big Lies," by Salon's own Joe Conason. Don't let such strident language deter you! America may be outraged and titillated by people who lie, we may have a sense that there's nothing worse than a liar, we may take pains to describe our shock and despair over the behavior of liars, but the more fire and brimstone we spout, the more callous the public becomes. "Everyone's lying!" they figure, and then vote for the guy with the nicest haircut. Once you're hosting a spot on the WWF or appearing on "60 Minutes" or signing books at Barnes and Noble, who's going to care what got you there? Such tales of redemption and reinvention are just too tantalizing to ignore, aligned as they are with the American dream.

All of which makes captured Pvt. Jessica Lynch all the braver for stepping up and rebutting the Pentagon-produced story of her as a pocket-size Rambo, "fighting to the end" -- instead of a deer caught in the enemy headlights whose gun jammed. But did the public embrace her for it? The TV movie on her tanked, and her own book (co-written by a writer who turned his own troubles with the truth into a fat book deal in a matter of months) was a sales disappointment. Poor Jessica. If she'd been paying attention, she would've ditched her quaint morals and gone with the flow. She would've understood that a lot of the time, Americans prefer to be lied to.

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