Despite claims of loving everyone from garbagemen to Prada saleswomen equally, Jaime later informs a girl at the after-prom party, "I don't know you. I'm sorry, I can't have a conversation with people I don't know." Apparently wealth diminishes your ability to talk to strangers unless they're painting your toenails, ringing up your purchases, or taking out your trash.

Since this is exactly the kind of mutant thrill-ride that MTV is becoming known for, it's at first puzzling why these girls' parents didn't stand in the way of the project. What they were thinking and why they allowed this train wreck to happen is anybody's guess -- or it is until Gleicher's mother appears, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, eagerly joining in a conversation about Jaime's soon-to-be-nonexistent virginity by volunteering that she lost her virginity on prom night as well. "It must not have been very good if I can't remember it!" she croons, and the twisted road map that led Jaime to the center of MTV's bull's-eye suddenly becomes upsettingly clear.

At the after-prom party, Jaime is feeling far more expansive than she was earlier. "My friends are so gifted. All these people in here are probably the most gifted people in the world," Jaime screams at a friend. "And they'll all be so famous one day. It's fucking ridiculous." Well, they'll all be famous for about one day, anyway, when this puppy hits the air. Our thoughts and prayers are with them and their families.

While MTV patiently observes Gleicher and Hilfiger in their natural habitat, Fox isn't remotely prepared to leave such matters up to chance. Thus, in the long-delayed premiere of "The Simple Life" (premiering -- at least for the time being -- at 8:30 p.m. on Dec. 2), Paris Hilton, hotel heiress, and Nicole Richie, "Dancing on the Ceiling" heiress, pack their bags and head to rural Arkansas, where they'll stay for five weeks with the Ledings, a farming family in the small town of Altus. After a big party and send-off by Paris' mommy and daddy (again, what were they thinking? Are they not familiar with Fox, the network of chaotic evil?), Nicole and Paris jet off to a secret location ("Where the fuck are we?" Nicole asks repeatedly) and, upon landing, are forced to haul their massive bags into the back of an old pickup truck and drive themselves to the family's farm.

Once they meet the Ledings and survey the room where they'll be staying, which is populated by flying insects and has a well in the middle of it ("What's a well?" Paris asks), the true nature of this escapade is beginning to dawn on them. "Maybe Fox didn't invite us out here to demonstrate our fabulousness and break down stereotypes of the rich like they said," their faces say. "Maybe this is really just about making us look like assholes." It's hard not to feel a little sorry for the girls when you see their faces drop.

But then they flatly refuse to help the poor grandmother pluck chickens for dinner. When they're instead given $50 and instructed to do the grocery shopping for the family, they sulk around the store looking for the stuff on the list. When the bill comes to $65, the girls simply hand the cashier 50 bucks.

Cashier: Is this all you have?

Nicole: Yeah. Can we just have it?

Cashier: No, you can't just have it! This is not a soup kitchen.

By the time the girls get out to the car, they're angry.

Nicole: He wouldn't just give it to us!

Paris: He was like, "This isn't a soup kitchen."

Nicole: I know! What does that mean, "soup kitchen"?

By this point, sympathy for the girls has dissipated into some mix of amusement, scorn and awe, but the comedy nudges out tragedy quickly as the girls get to know the family at the dinner table.

Nicole: Now, do you guys hang out at Wal-Mart?

The room is filled with blank faces.

Nicole: I've always heard that people hang out at Wal-Mart.

Paris: Why? What is Wal-Mart? 'Cause, like, they sell wall stuff?

Nicole: It's like Costco or like Sav-on.

Paris: You hang out there?

Nicole: In the South people hang out there.

One of the Leding children: We're not that bad!

This kind of honesty will make the show, if it keeps up. Instead of trying to seem knowledgeable, the girls are upfront about their ignorance. Plus, aside from a few moments of disgust or fear, they're being pretty nice to everyone they come into contact with. And, unlike MTV's rich girls, these two both seem to have a sense of the absurdity of their situation. When the girls are talking with the teenage son of the family, and he stops to go get his jacket, they're afforded a short moment of privacy.

Paris: He's sooo sweet!

Nicole: He's sweet.

Paris: He's cute.

Nicole: We should have a threesome with him.

The two of them are instantly doubled over, laughing, and it's clear that this show might be a lot of fun after all.

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