The Fix

Elvis Costello keeps David Letterman's seat warm, Julia likes the Mile High Club, and Eminem wants to rest instead of rap.

By Karen Croft

Mar 13, 2003 | Elvis Costello was the substitute host for David Letterman last night and we must nominate the show for an Emmy. He started by singing "Letterman" to the tune of "Alison" then quipped: "Be nice to the British bloke. He's your last ally!" He chatted with "Sex and the City" star Kim Cattrall about female orgasms, bantered with Eddie Izzard about cross-dressing and playing Lenny Bruce. He kept the show moving without a hitch and ended by introducing himself and the Imposters and singing "(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love and Understanding?" in a straight-ahead style that was a pitch-perfect mix of his angry young man/wise and witty headmaster personas. His last words to the audience were "Thanks to Dave for letting me warm his seat, so to speak, and may peace prevail." Declan rocks.

Update on the James Gandolfini battle with HBO: The fifth season was supposed to start filming March 24 and now it's on "indefinite hold." (People) We fear mattresses are now being fumigated.

Who would you vote into your fantasy "greatest rock band ever" lineup? BBC radio listeners said they would want Bono. That's easy. The runners-up might be harder to book: Jimi Hendrix and Keith Moon. (BBC)

Martin Sheen and his son Charlie Sheen star in a Visa commercial that was abruptly canceled last week. Insiders say it was pulled because of Papa Sheen's antiwar stance. Seems the credit card company was getting complaints. The ad agency that made the spot, BBDO, says, "Yo, not true." (Page Six)

Go, Pretty Woman! Rumors are that Julia Roberts likes to get around on private jets (instead of Jet Blue, we surmise) because that way she can have sex while traveling. We applaud her time-management/multitasking skills! (Calgary Sun)

Go, Chelsea Clinton! We hear that the former first daughter, graduate of Stanford and almost-grad of Oxford is going to make $120,000 (plus a 10-grand signing bonus) at her first job as junior consultant at McKinsey & Co. One biz-dev strategist said that sounded like a good deal for the company, since they'd be getting the benefits of the Clinton Rolodex. Good point. But we would pay a tidy sum if someone could explain what a "junior consultant" is, please. (Washington Post)

Eminem won't be at the Academy Awards even though his song from "8 Mile" is nominated for an Oscar. He'll be vacationing at an undisclosed location instead. This poses a problem for the show's producer, since nominees in the best-song category usually perform their own numbers. Wonder if Marnie Nixon is available? (Entertainment Weekly)

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