Sunday, Jul 6, 2008
To pole dance, or not to pole dance: Is that the question? Readers respond to Christine Smallwood's "Girls Gone Wild."
Oct 7, 2005 | [Read "Girls Gone Wild," by Christine Smallwood.]
Perhaps your article bashing porn would be better written by someone who actually bothered to read, watch or enjoy any porn whatsoever. The issue of Playboy featuring Olympic athletes did, in fact, feature them in moments of athleticism; clearly your missing this key fact indicates missing the much larger point here. Guess what, Salon? Being sexy is fun, and it makes people feel good, be they men or women.
I've never understood why men should feel guilty for ogling a beautiful woman anyways -- don't we all ogle beauty? Should I feel bad because I'd rather watch a beautiful woman's hips than a Gucci bag in a window?
I find myself gazing longingly at beautiful women all the time, and sorry, Salon, I refuse to feel guilty for it. I am a bisexual, polyamorous, highly sexed female. I also work in the porn industry producing porn of myself, for myself, by myself, without being exploited by a single solitary soul. Now, that is empowerment, and that is certainly one of the reasons for the sudden raunch movement. Suddenly women really can control all of this themselves and do whatever they like, or nothing at all, if that is their choice.
Personally I think those T-shirts are stupid, and most of them come off as a bit mean. But they certainly don't seem to me to be worn by women beaten down by the sexual desires of those around them. They seem to be women with attitude who aren't scared to say "yes, so what?" to the world, and I have a hard time viewing that as anything but good. Many of those shirts also say things like "I have the pussy, so I make the rules." (I notice you strategically left that one out, even though it's a very popular motto these days.) Is it even possible to view that as anything but empowering for women?
To clarify the confusion about feminism; feminism is about giving women choices. It is not about Andrea Dworkin or any other twisted soul telling women what they "should" be doing, whether the current "should" of the moment is being a housewife or breaking glass ceilings. The idea behind feminism is that women should be able to follow their own dreams, not the dreams of the author or anyone else.
I am so fully offended by this article, I don't even know where to begin. Interesting that Levy would say that a woman dancing to music and glorying in the beauty of her own body and others' appreciation of it would be "cartoonish." Yet, somehow, you find the men offensive? I find being referred to as cartoonish offensive.
"When Levy suggests that stripping was more a parody of female sexuality than an enactment of it, Anyssa's friend Sherry snaps. "I can't feel sorry for those women," she said. "I think they're asking for it."
Asking for what exactly? For men to admire their beauty? For women to admire their beauty? Have you ever watched a woman who loves to dance, dance? I find it incredibly offensive to find beautiful women dancing in their gorgeous skins being called "cartoonish" and a "parody."
"As long as 'acting like a man' is valued, acting like a woman will be devalued. And regardless of how you understand gender, being a woman -- having breasts, bleeding once a month -- will be a handicap."
I have no idea what you are talking about. I really, really don't. A handicap? I love being a woman with every fiber of my being, from bleeding once a month to sore breasts before I do. I don't feel in any way handicapped because I can choose to live my life doing something that I love instead of slaving away day after day in a dead-end job in some cubicle that I hate. Why doesn't Salon do an article on all the women who are trapped by society and circumstance in jobs they hate that are murdering their souls? All the women who get up each day barely able to draw breath because they hate their lives so much?
I really expect more from Salon. I don't expect Salon to be yet another voice of the anti-sex telling me, "Tsk, tsk, young lady. Sex is bad." The whole problem with your article is the premise that sex is bad and somehow degrades women, when in fact sex is beautiful and empowering women to control their own sexuality can be incredibly beautiful!
When you allow only the negative aspects about sexuality to be visible (as in men exploiting women), you ignore all the amazing steps forward we are making as women. Does exploitation of women's sexuality still occur? Of course it does! But more and more women are taking over and controlling their sexuality in their own way. More women are producing porn, more women are opening sex-positive toy stores, more women are involved in taking powerful steps to control their own sexual destiny, and that is a great thing. I'm so tired of the dire warnings about porn, when over the course of the past eight years I've watched women embracing a sexual revolution because of the power the Internet gives them. Women are reaching out and grabbing their sex with both hands, and you want me to believe it's bad because it isn't quite what you expected?
I wish the author of the book, and the author of this article, would come to a sex-positive convention or swing party or any number of gatherings that are full of powerful, strong, beautiful, intelligent women who have an absolute blast playing with and exploring their sexuality. Places where women of all shapes and sizes glory in the beauty of their skin, glory in their sexuality, have a blast knowing they are making you throb, and revel in the power and the sheer fun of it. Perhaps their eyes would be opened.
-- Tamara
Get Salon in your mailbox!