Man bites lap dogs!

This is a different medium for you -- who is the inspiration?

There is a model I had in mind, but I can't follow it, because it would be libelous. One of my favorite writers in the whole world is Auberon Waugh; he did a diary in Private Eye, which was a mixture of things that really happened, and utterly scandalous, malicious remarks he made about people. For example, he would call Prince Charles "Prince Batty" and say things like, "I loathe him getting his clammy fangs into this delicious Princess Diana." He would write these really funny things, make up going to lunch with the queen, going to lunch with this writer or that writer. In the book form of the Private Eye diary there would be hilarious footnotes where the editor pretends to correct all these things. And I thought, that's a conversational way of doing it. But then I realized, no, I couldn't keep up a diary, it would just be too much work, I'd have to be filing two or three times a day. I want to hit a conversational, offhand but slightly absurdist tone.

I did a thing, which people took seriously, on the Kitty Kelley book, in which I talked about Laura Bush chain-smoking Kools, and wondering why the ranch staff didn't have any "strapping bucks" like they did in the movie "Mandingo." But I saw people citing this and being indignant, "I don't see why people on the left sink to the same level and libel people on the right." And others saying, "It was a joke!" That was a very Auberon Waugh thing to do.

How much of the blog will be devoted to media criticism?

I'll be doing a lot of it on the fly, just as things happen. I just have to figure out how. I don't want to overlap with what a lot of other people have said. But I do feel like one of the things that has to be ongoing is the deterioration of CNN. What in the world is going on there? I can't even tell anymore if it's malice or just ineptitude.

In your chapter on Fox News, you have a kind of grudging admiration for them, that there's a little more energy in what they do, whether it's propaganda or not.

I actually thought Fox did a better job of covering the Democratic Convention than CNN did. In many ways, they struck me as being more fair than CNN was. CNN would give you a speech then cut to [GOP chairman] Ed Gillespie, who'd criticize it. The worst was that band of schoolmarms they have at CNN who are their pundits. After Al Sharpton made his speech -- a very lively speech, got the audience worked up -- they cut to the panel and the first thing they said was, "Well, the speech went 18 minutes over, and this pushes the event back, and I'm not sure if the Democrats are going to be happy with that." I was like, "Are you guys just standing there with a stopwatch? He got the crowd worked up!" Before, they were claiming that it was "too boring." They're doing that nickeling, petty sort of thing.

Fox did less of that in the Democratic Convention. I think they enjoy it when someone like Al Sharpton cuts loose. It's good TV. At CNN, they're acting like there's a hall monitor. "Please don't run in the hall. Please! No! Everyone needs to walk the same pace."

What is the biggest problem with CNN right now?

There's no one in charge, and I don't think they know what they want to do. I mean, with Fox, you know Roger Ailes is running it, his whip crack can be heard. With CNN, I don't think they know whether they should be imitating Fox, trying to be more authoritative, or what. Everybody on CNN is overexposed. It seems like you get Wolf Blitzer and Judy Woodruff 20 hours a day. And Larry King. I do like the fact that Larry King doesn't seem to fit in any known universe. It's like, you've got news, news, and then "Larry King talks to psychics! Ask your dead relatives a question! Tonight!"

Well, he clearly has an audience. A much older audience ...

A classic Larry King show: "Remembering Liberace"!

But as big an audience as he has, it's not as big as Fox's, usually. Is CNN just content that Larry's audience is big enough?

I think they are. The thing about Larry King is that at least he doesn't do the harm that Judy Woodruff and the rest of them do. And the "Capitol Gang"! God Almighty, if we could exile them to an island, maybe they would cannibalize each other. During the Republican Convention, I saw them all responding to a Schwarzenegger speech, and all of them went on about how wonderful Schwarzenegger's speech was! I was like, you people went to college, presumably you've studied great speeches in the past, you know something about democracy, and this pathetic litany of Chamber of Commerce clichés -- just because they're done with an accent -- and pathetic things like the "girly man" comment.

And for me, the big question with CNN is, what is Bob Novak still doing on the air? I honestly do not understand how Bob Novak, with all the slimy stuff he's done over the years, is still not only on the air with CNN, but one of their main players. I think it's an inside Washington thing. It's an elite thing, he's been there forever. They all take each other for granted. They don't see how corrupted they've become. And how sleazy things are. To have Novak sitting on "Crossfire" when they're actually discussing the Valerie Plame case!

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