Prairie fire

You write that Richard Nixon was "the last Republican leader to feel a Christian obligation toward the poor." What in God's name happened to the Grand Old Party?

At the moment, they are drenched in hubris and self-regard, incapable of telling their own history. It takes defeat and regret to give a person a little perspective and self-knowledge, and once the Republicans have gained that, one of them will tell us what happened to the GOP. Like this old Nebraska Republican who, now that he's retiring from Congress, comes out with a closely reasoned attack on the administration's Middle East policy. George W. Bush will retire to his Crawford plantation in January and begin work on his Georgic lament, in which he meditates on the dangers of success. Political skill in the absence of statesmanship is the first act of a tragedy.

You write with great love about your native state and its traditions of Scandinavian decency. But Minnesota also elected Jesse Ventura and Norm Coleman -- what went wrong?

We got a kick out of Jesse "The Body" Ventura and all the notoriety it got us: first state with a governor with a stage name. But Norm Coleman and Jesse Ventura are as different as can be. Jesse was a plain-spoken man, and he had his principles -- he vetoed a post-9/11 Republican bill to require the daily recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance in every public schoolroom. He said that Minnesota kids were by gosh as patriotic as they could possibly be and the bill was an insult to the intelligence. Jesse was pro-choice and opposed to gay-baiting and, above all, Jesse was opposed to bullshit and cant and hypocrisy.

Norm Coleman is a man without a single principled bone in his body. He was a liberal Democrat who saw greater career opportunities on the other side and one night he sewed himself a new set of beliefs and crossed over. He is the first truly cynical politician in Minnesota in my lifetime. What went wrong? Sen. Paul Wellstone's plane crashed in the woods.

What do you think of Al Franken's chances if he decides to run for public office in Minnesota? As someone who believes in politics as a higher calling, would you ever consider running?

Al ought to give up radio, which is awfully hard work for a TV guy like himself, and establish residence in Minneapolis, near where he grew up, and get himself a late-model car and drive around and see the state. It's a wonderful place and, doggone it, people would like him. He can announce his campaign in a couple years and start raising money. I'll do some fundraisers for him myself. Al is a natural on the stump. He has a terrific grin that makes people feel good, unlike so many Midwestern liberals, who are about as warm as a concrete block. And he's a genuinely good man, a family man, patriotic, kind to a fault, passionate about justice, and I happen to think he'd enjoy serving in the U.S. Senate. The Senate is a fine platform for exposing deceit and corruption, which is a specialty of Al's. And you can talk for as long as you like.

As for me, I have unfulfilled ambitions as a writer, and writing is the best way to spend what time is left to me -- sit at my dining room table and try to write what is given to me to write, a comic novel, a sonnet, a Lake Wobegon story, a parody of the president, a limerick about a lady named Reba who cried out in rapture, "Ich liebe," a rhapsody to homegrown tomatoes. I've loved doing this all my life, and one should not turn away from good luck as good as that.

Who do you think will win the presidential race in November?

John Kerry. President Bush was campaigning on Wednesday here in St. Paul and he sounded awfully loopy, like an old camp counselor who's done too many campfires. According to him, we're bringing democracy to the Middle East and the economy is turning the corner. He said it about 10 times, in those tiny mincing sentences of his, and there isn't anybody over the age of 12 who really believes him. After the rally, his flotilla of helicopters flew over our house to the airport and a few minutes later it was Republican rush hour. I was bringing my daughter home from her swimming lesson and a steady stream of Bush/Cheney-stickered cars came by, driven by grim-faced people who rolled through the stop sign and roared up the street -- Republicans just don't notice people on foot, especially not small children -- and they didn't look happy as if they'd just seen a winner, and I don't think they had.

What would you tell a good-hearted citizen who is seriously considering casting their vote for Ralph Nader?

The thrill of Naderism is in telling your Democratic pals that you're thinking about ralphing and seeing them get all flushed and earnest and wring their hands and roll their eyes and moan. Actually going into the voting booth and ralphing is no great pleasure, compared to the remorse you'll feel if Mr. Bush is elected and fresh horrors begin to unfold and the nadir is reached and the Bushies keep going down, down, down. I say, Stand tall for Ralph, wear his button, wave his flag, put on his cologne in the morning, be as ralphic as you like, but in that private sacred moment, make your X for the Man.

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