The members of the audience, while half-listening to the words of Margaret Jones, found themselves thinking more and more about Glenn Close, about her presence and purpose. Glenn Close is a well-known actress, they thought. Having her along for campaign appearances makes people think that powerful cultural figures, who presumably have access to the best information, have decided that Rob Jones is the best candidate. But then again, Glenn Close isn't quite a powerful cultural figure. She's an excellent actress who has faded from the memories of the mainstream filmgoer, given that it's been almost twenty years since Fatal Attraction and The Big Chill, the films for which she is best known. So wouldn't her appearance on the campaign trail imply that the Rob Jones campaign couldn't attract a more contemporarily popular actor or actress, like for example Elijah Wood or Kirsten Dunst? Or someone even hotter. Orlando Bloom! Whoa, wouldn't that be great, to have Orlando Bloom here? He's very hot right now. But he's Australian. Or is it New Zealand? What do you call someone from New Zealand, anyway? Are they New Zealandish? So maybe Orlando Bloom would be out. But what about Johnny Depp? He said all those anti-American things, though. And he lives in Paris.

But why Glenn Close? Wouldn't having an older and less recently-gleaming star stand in one's firmament diminish the campaign's overall impressiveness? And if she doesn't speak -- and she's still just standing there, now with one foot sort of extended forward in a vaguely balletic way -- does that mean that she doesn't feel strongly enough to stump for him? And how long does she have to campaign with him? What sort of movies does she have in development? Didn't she do "Sunset Boulevard" on Broadway? Or was that someone else? Wasn't there a problem with her voice? She couldn't sing? Or who was that -- maybe the actress hired to replace her couldn't sing. Who was that? Melanie Griffith? No, no, she did that other show, and she was good. Or Ben Brantley thought she was good, and she was happy about that. But she couldn't actually sing. But that worked to her advantage in that show, apparently. What was that show? Were there Muppets in that show? What was that show, the one with the Sesame Street knockoffs? Something with "urine" in the title. Wow, it'd be fun to go to a show at some point. What do tickets cost these days. Maybe the whole family should go down to New York and see a show. Nice! Maybe Christmas. Stay in Times Square, and see the ESPN Zone. Sweet! But should the family drive? That's a heck of a drive, all that way, and in the snow? In this ludicrous cold? And who has money for that kind of thing? Been out of work for seven months and we're thinking of Broadway shows! We should be out there, participating in the political process, trying to get someone elected who cares about my struggles!

Wait. We are out there. We're at a rally. Rob Jones. Right. Where the hell is he, anyway? And isn't that Glenn Close? Jesus, that woman looks exactly like her.

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