King Kaufman's Sports Daily

Dear idiots: A note to fans who leave games like Monday's classic in Sacramento early. Plus: Chris Webber's delusions of go-to-guydom.

May 11, 2004 | Excuse me, everyone. I want to talk for a second just to all the idiots who filed out of Arco Arena early Monday night. The exodus began in earnest with the Minnesota Timberwolves leading the hometown Sacramento Kings 100-87 in Game 3 with three-plus minutes remaining.

Dear people: You're a bunch of idiots.

Was it worth it? Since so many of you were leaving, you still had to sit in traffic outside, and I've sat idling in that cow pasture after Kings games, so I know you were there for a while. Still, you did get home earlier than you would have if you'd stuck around for the end of the game. Probably made it by midnight if you live in the 916.

Was something pretty good going on when you got there? Because back at Arco, you missed a pretty good ballgame, in the sense that if you weren't in Italy in the 15th century, you missed a pretty good Renaissance. You missed Mike Bibby and Peja Stojakovic, both awful for the first 45 minutes or so of the game, go wild. You missed your hometown Kings wresting the game from the dubious control of Fred Hoiberg and Mark Madsen and sending it to an improbable overtime.

You missed MVP Kevin Garnett turning the ball over twice in key situations by losing his footing and traveling, but in between winning the game on an incredible shot, an MVP shot, fighting through a double-team and an uncalled foul to sink a 15-footer at the 24-second buzzer. You missed Stojakovic's would-be game-winner fall harmlessly thanks to the smothering defense of Trenton Hassell -- defense that would have been called a foul if it had happened at any time in the game except with 2.7 seconds to go in overtime, but that's how it goes.

You missed the most thrilling eight minutes of basketball of the 2004 season. It was so exciting it was probably worth the staggering price you paid for those playoff tickets.

You're probably telling yourself you didn't really miss anything. Almost, but hey, the Kings lost anyway, right? They're still down in the series 2-1, just like you figured they would be when you headed for the parking lot.

Listen, idiots -- you don't mind if I use your nickname, do you? -- you don't leave a playoff game with three-plus minutes to go and the home team down by 13. Thirteen is nothing, and not just for the Kings, who can make up a 13-point deficit as quickly as anybody. Three-plus minutes is forever in the NBA.

Next page: And it's not just Californians. Plus: Does Chris Webber know anything?