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Tuesday, Nov 24, 2009
I comment on this stuff, and I'm on the phone with Salon.com. And CNN, and Fox and MSNBC and CNBC and ABC and NBC and CBS and Stern and Holmes and ABC radio and Ollie North and Larry King and G. Gordon Liddy and Rush Limbaugh. I plunge into the major media every day of my life because I am a funny guy. I'm an entertaining sonofabitch. In fact, I got the ultimate compliment the other day: You ready? This is it. This is the mountaintop. You ready? I'm so funny, I'm funnier than Richard Pryor on fire.
I write my books, and my articles for all these publications from the Wall Street Journal to Razor to Deer & Deer Hunting and Bowhunting magazine because I really have the American dream licked. And that's based on discipline, a conscientious aspiration to maximum level of awareness, the application of that observation in celebration of truth and reality that an optimum level of awareness brings. Hence, the bowhunting lifestyle. I don't partake in assembly-line convenience. I don't say that killing things is bad while I hire people to kill things for me. I won't take part in that. And though I salute and have great respect for the farmers of America, because they feed the world, it isn't good enough for me. I want to look the beast in the eye. When I want a dinner, I kill an animal. I don't want to have dinner, and hire somebody to kill 10 billion chickens.
What would happen if everyone who reads "Kill It and Grill It" decides that they want to get their own dinner too? How many hunting disciples can we reasonably expect to support running around in the woods with guns?
Oh, it's already happening. I just spent the weekend with Shemane Nugent, the coauthor of "Kill It and Grill It," and my own Queen of the Forest. She has this nonprofit charity called Shemane Nugent's Queen of the Forest. We just had 20-some babes -- I can't believe it -- and we had them out at our Sunrize Acres -- Sunrize with a "z" -- our little sacred Nugent hunting grounds, where we just shared a campfire and created a campfire in the souls of a couple dozen women, many of which have never been off the pavement before. Many of which were angry at anyone who would kill Bambi. But when we were done with them at Queen of the Forest, they realized that Bambi is a fucking cartoon. And that real, living flesh-and-blood creatures created by God should never be reduced -- much less managed -- based on a cartoon character. These women were empowered to know that spirituality comes from acknowledging this precious creation, that we have an intellectual and moral responsibility to identify in an honest way -- not a convenient, ignorant, comfortable way, but tooth, fang and claw reality.
We've already recruited thousands. I have a Sunrize Safari where I take people -- last year it was 340-some people -- on guided hunting trips into Alaska, Africa, Canada, Texas, California, Michigan, Florida, Nebraska, South Dakota, North Dakota. When people read "Kill It and Grill It," I hope they do go down to their local sporting goods shop, and they do learn about nature's reality and they do go hunting, because you know what? Right now in America, there are more white-tail deer, there are more turkey, there are more bear -- mark this down! I want this in Salon.com! -- in 2002, it is irrefutably documented that there are more deer, more turkey, more Canadian geese, more mountain lion, more bear than ever in recorded history in North America.
Pure, perfect-quality protein is available to everyone who wants to flex their natural instinct to be self-sufficient, independent, more honestly in tune with the source of their sustenance. There's plenty of critters to go around, plenty of land to go around. There's not a farmer in America that if approached by a reasonably groomed, decent, courteous family wouldn't be pleased as punch to have you come in and help reduce the damned deer population! Or the mountain lion, or the elk -- there's more elk, there's more moose, there's more buffalo than in over 150 years. Everybody's got too many geese! Everybody's got too many turkeys! Everybody's got too many deer! Kill 'em and grill 'em!
That's not just a clever title. I really mean it! If you want your body to be healthier, get off the salmonella, e-coli, mad cow, assembly-line toxic hell train! God I love that statement. What did I just say? The salmonella, e-coli, runaway toxic hell train of mass assembly-line slaughter! It's indecent. What I do is pure.
So what if this catches on in, say, Manhattan? I'm trying to imagine what would happen if 8 million Manhattan residents suddenly decide it's trendy to take to the woods.
