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Monday, Nov 23, 2009
And on the third day mayhem ensued, and it was good: Jack swings a mean ax, loses the suspect for the umpteenth time and then weeps -- along, surely, with countless fans at home.
May 27, 2004 | The third disastrous day of "24" drew to a calamitous close last night as Jack Bauer saved the world yet again, and then paused for about two minutes to weep openly.
You could hardly blame him. In the past 24 hours, Jack had endured a breakup, heroin withdrawal, the death of a former lover, a prison riot, a gunfight, the outbreak of a virus, the kidnapping of his daughter, a car chase, an impromptu amputation and the relentless badgering of Chloe, the office whiner.
But then, Jack's relations with his co-workers have been just a wee bit strained over the last few hours. In just one day, he was forced to assassinate one co-worker, rat out another co-worker who will likely spend the balance of his days in prison, and chop a third co-worker's arm off.
Feverish fans of the suspense series let out a simultaneous gasp of horror -- or, in some cases, delight -- when Chase Edmunds (James Badge Dale) strapped the last remaining virus-bomb to his arm to save the Southland from certain peril. Luckily, Chase and Jack were in a biology classroom, and there was a big ax hanging nearby. As the virus-bomb display ticked down, Jack imagined Chase's hand groping his daughter's ample bread baskets, and was thereby able to swing the ax over his head with a resounding chop. Chase: "Oww!"
Kim (Elisha Cuthbert), upon hearing that her boyfriend's life was in peril, stared blankly into the middle distance. Poor dear, she's holding it all in again! No woman is an island, even if she looks like one in that oversize blazer they make her wear at CTU.
After convincing himself that Sherry (Penny Johnson Jerald) wasn't, in fact, going to rise up and judge the living and the dead, President Palmer (Dennis Haysbert) called Jack on his cellphone to thank him for saving the world not once, not twice, but thrice. Jack told the president that he'd relay the president's gratitude to the staff of CTU. "CTU?" Palmer's face seemed to say. "What the hell is that? Some kind of a branch or department? Oh, and Jack? Are there vending machines at CTU, and do they have those banana moon pies I love so much?"
After bringing the president his moon pies, Jack met daughter Kim at the hospital. Upon reuniting with her dad and hearing that her boyfriend was going to be OK, Kim stared blankly into the middle distance. Poor dear, she's holding it all in again! You could tell, though, by the slant of her eyebrows that she felt overwhelmed, even more so than when she had to dress in Jane Saunders' frumpy bohemian clothes, or when she was ruthlessly interrogated by FHM.
Meanwhile, Tony "Tiny" Almeida (Carlos Bernard) was carted off to the big house for selling the population of the free world up the river, just so Saunders wouldn't cut his wife Michelle's (Reiko Aylesworth) eye out. Nice job, Tiny! Michelle was devastated by Tiny's impending incarceration, but something in her eyes told us that she would never have sold the free world up the river just to keep the terrorists' long knives away from Tiny. She was crushed, yes, but not so crushed that she could resist whispering "I told you so!" into Tiny's ear as he was dragged away to some dark, damp prison cell. That's our Michelle! Playing the blame game up until the buzzer sounds, just like a good wife should!
