Julie sends her warm regards, then mentions, "f.y.i.," that the houseguests have given her their message. "Right now, it's being transferred to a banner, and later we'll see it flying in the sky."

In a awoplane! TV doesn't get better than this!

That is, of course, if you don't count the following montage of Curtis getting ready to go to "one of Hollywood's grandest affairs" (as Chen describes the Emmys, with a proud head toss).

We see Curtis in varying states of deshabille; Curtis in a sleep mask; Curtis being ministered to by a stylist; Curtis breezing past Jamie, who looks as though she'll hurl, on his way out; Curtis startling himself with a champagne cork in the back of the limo; Curtis holding a glass of champagne in the limo and surveying his surroundings with his tongue pressed elegantly to his palate; Curtis waving; Curtis -- you get the idea.

There's hardly anything from the actual show though. There's a shot of Curtis waving at something, which we suppose could have been someone who actually recognized him. Also, some agreeable local CBS affiliate interviewer asks Curtis a couple of real live celebrity questions -- well, one, actually, which he repeats, because he nearly falls asleep during Curtis's response.

Fortunately, the Emmys don't give "Big Brother" a statuette for Most Embarrassing and Incompetently Produced TV Show of All Time.

Curtis wishes the night could last forever.

One of the reasons we hate "Big Brother" is because of how dishonest CBS, the producers and Intrepid Newswoman Julie Chen are. You can never trust they're giving you the whole story. They know, for example, by how many votes Brittany was banished over George the week before. But they don't tell us.

What we really want to know about Curtis at the Emmys is whether he talked to people about the show, whether he was allowed to interact with people and so forth. None of this they broadcast. And we know the housemates are going to ask him that as well, and we doubt we'll see his response.

CBS: Putting the fake back into reality!

Health and relationships expert Dr. Drew Pinsky comes on to talk about what a night at the Emmys can do to the psyche of an unsuspecting lab rodent.

"This is the first time we've seen a non-banished houseguests venture out into the outside world," he says. "Curtis went from being cut off from the outside world for 68 days to one of the biggest media events in the country."

Dr. Drew doesn't say what he thinks the effects of the show's having systematically blown off all of its hullaballooed isolation precepts will have on the residents.

Instead, he says he thinks the Emmys "refueled" Curtis, and made him feel more positive about his "Big Brother" experience.

He also says Curtis may start doing some more independent thinking now, like the kind that television people engage in when they bring us a new fall series starring Craig T. Nelson as a guy who likes to hit tables with his hand.

"He can think independently, he can be more positive," Pinsky says. "I think we'll see him confronting his peers more. He's a terrific intellect. He is really beginning to emerge as a leader in the group if he would just assert himself more."

Chen smiles like she's been practicing.

"All because of this trip out of the house?"

"No, no, no," says Dr. Drew.

"Who gave you this job, you moron?" say we.

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