Episode 9:

After all the water relays and phony rescues, the baton passing and the maggot eating, the physical challenges on "Survivor" are finally taking a second seat. At this point, the show's scheming and betrayal rival "Richard III."

In fact, tubby, false, scowling, naked Richard is our villain tonight, with an appropriately picaresque supporting cast of clowns, fools and rogues. Add Pulau Tiga, right out of the "The Tempest." And as in any good tragedy, the blood of our heroes spreads on the floor at evening's end. That's what happens tonight.

Once more, onto the beach!

It's the manipulative Richard's 39th birthday, and he's got just the outfit in which to celebrate. That's right, Rich is back in his birthday suit. It's the first time he's gone natural since the two tribes joined together, so it's Colleen's and Jenna's first glimpse of Pulau Tiga's great white whale, if we can be excused for mixing our literary allusions. They are understandably a bit distressed.

CBS again trots out its extra-large blurry spot to be able to give us back shots of the great beast wandering around the island. Rich is not a solitary naturist. He is a gregarious one. There's a front shot that shows Richard sitting on a log in the middle of the group, with the Hatch family jewels tucked safely away somewhere amid his fleshy white thighs. It's a comfortable moment for no one.

"You never get used to seeing Rich naked," understates Dr. Sean. Rudy says he'll tell his wife about "a queer who ran around bare-assed half of the time." The girls screw up their noses in distaste whenever he's around.

Richard is looking pretty cocky for a naked man. The Tagi alliance (he, crafty Sue, grumpy Rudy and passive Kelly) have blown former Pagong members -- Gretchen and Greg -- off the island in two successive weeks. There are now eight castaways left and the foursome seems to be in control.

They are helped by two factors. First is Dr. Sean. He has vowed to exercise his vote to throw people off the island only in alphabetical order. This week it's Jenna's turn. He shares this with his fellow castaways. On the deck of the Titanic, Dr. Sean would be playing a kazoo.

The second thing that helps Tagi is the utter mental paralysis of their ever-shrinking pool of Pagong victims. It is the silence of the lambs.

Another literary allusion!

Richard starts the show chipper. "Outright lying is absolutely essential," he says for the camera. He reveals that he's been making a big deal of his fishing skills just to distract attention from his schemings. "I'm not still on the island because I catch fish. I'm here because I'm smart."

He thinks, however, that the island isn't appreciating his fishing skills. Rudy charred a ray he caught. He says that he's going to hold out on them for a few days so that the group will appreciate him more. It's a nasty plan -- the castaways are rationing rice.

Later, the four women accidentally snare a catfish! Rich seems visibly distressed by the achievement. It's only a dinner for two, but it's a small victory of less evil over evil.

Everyone's hungry. The reward challenge promises food to whoever wins a ropes-course game strung up in the jungle. It seems like it's another opportunity for the stronger men to dominate, but Colleen wins. Her reward is a letter from home and a sizzling barbecue with all the fixin's -- with a guest.

She chooses Jenna, still sad over not having seen a video of her kids last week. Colleen wants the single mother to be able to see mail from her two kiddies. With Jenna's homesick pathos on full display in the last episode, it's a decision that can't anger anyone.

In a good example of what sprightly editing can do for otherwise boring action, the show cuts between joyous shots of the two women stuffing their faces with juicy meat and the other members of the tribe silently spooning among plain bowls of rice.

The immunity challenge is a big brain teaser on a large grid of tiles. In turn, the players take a step to an adjoining tile, flipping over the previous tile they were standing on. If a player can't make a move onto an unturned tile, he or she must step out. It's not exactly maggot eating or a boat race but, as we said, this show is all about strategy now. Rudy wins; he can't get voted off the island tonight.

The remnants of Pagong -- Jenna, Colleen and Gervase -- have a dim awareness that their numbers are shrinking ineluctably. In their slow way, they try to figure out why. Colleen and Jenna even attempt to do something about it, wooing river guide Kelly, who's soon seen running around the island with the other two women in matching jungle outfits. (The aesthetics of this development are somewhat compromised by the fact that the trio uses fluorescent green "Survivor" tube tops as their fashion foundation.)

But the frolicking threesome has scheming Sue and malevolent Richard worried. Rudy, as old school as they come, speculates that the three are having lesbian orgies in the jungle. Rudy's seeing homosexuals under every bush. Rich sure has him jumpy.

"Survivor" rules have the group winnowing itself down to two, and then the previous seven castaways coming back as a "jury" to award a $1 million prize. So Greg, tossed out last week, returns to watch the tribal council proceedings silently.

It's the tensest vote yet. Sean and Sue spat during the preliminaries. Sean tries to defend his alphabetical voting plan. Sue is exasperated. "He's just dumb," she blurts out. It's hard to disagree with her.

The three Pagong are targeting Rich. We know the Tagi alliance is bloc-voting as well. Kelly's vote would seem to be decisive.

But Tagi is thinking on its feet. The alliance votes for Jenna, counting on Sean's absurd alphabetical strategy. With his, there are four votes against her. If Kelly votes with the Pagong group, Richard will earn four votes as well.

But we never find out what would have happened in a tie.

Stupidity, it turns out, is a contagious disease on Pulau Tiga. After her fun with the Pagong women, Kelly casts her vote for ... Sean.

Jenna's toast. The stage dims.

Scene: A beach on the South China Sea. Richard stands center, with Sue and Rudy in attendance.

Richard: Conscience is a word that cowards use
Devised at first to keep the strong in awe.

[Exeunt, pursued by a monitor lizard]

(J.S./B.W.)

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