In the past, several actors (famously Tim Robbins and Richard Gere) have used the Oscar stage as a bully pulpit for their personal causes. To all those presenters and award recipients considering going on a soapbox, what do you have to say?

Well, I divide that question into two parts. As far as the presenter is concerned, that's someone whom I've asked to be on the show. I find it unconscionable that they would use that time for their own personal view. Because, in effect, they have made a deal with me to come on the show and present best cinematography. If they say something that's personal, I think that's in bad taste; I think it's inappropriate and would strongly censor that. However, if a person wins an award and they have 30 seconds to say "Thank you" and they elect instead to say "Save the trees," it's totally fine with me.

What are the criteria for being a seat filler, and are they unionized?

Troublemaker. [Laughs] They're not unionized, and it's very difficult to be a seat filler because of security reasons. We only take seat fillers who work for the academy, and they're vetted by many people just to make sure that the security concerns are met.

Do these people have to have a certain look? Are they models?

No, they're everyday-looking people, and that's what I like about them.

Do you feel the glut of advertiser-friendly award shows in recent years has diminished the prestige of the Oscars or reinforced it?

I look at every award show as a buildup to the Oscars -- honest to God. I wish there were fewer of them only because I wish there were other things on television. It really makes no difference. Why do people go to the Golden Globes? They go to the Golden Globes obviously because it's a lovely party, but they also want to know who the front-runners for the Oscars are. It all pays off on the Oscars. You'll notice that there's no award show that follows the Oscars. What are you going to do after the Oscars are given? That's it.

Approximately a billion viewers tune in to the Academy Awards every year -- what do you believe accounts for the universal appeal of this ceremony?

It's been said so many times, but film is the new art of the 20th century -- it transcends language and it really transcends culture. Film stars are the common denominator, the common language. You're talking about something [the Oscars] that's 75 years old now, and there's a sense of a global village and a sense of belonging.

What are your thoughts on the incessant hype machine that surrounds the Oscars? How do you deal with the pressure to live up to the network's and the viewers' high expectations?

Well, I love the hype because I think that's what generates the audience. Obviously, the most appealing thing to me is to have a big audience. But with regard to the hype and how it affects me personally, frankly, it really doesn't affect me very much. To tell you the truth, I run a theater here in Los Angeles called the Geffen Playhouse and we have 500 seats -- I get as nervous on opening night with 500 people watching as I do with 500 million. There's a point at which it's not the number, it's the quality of the work.

What's the most outrageous thing anyone's ever done to attend the Oscars?

Well, there's one time when someone snuck in, which was outrageous because he got himself into big trouble, and I don't think I should even get into that. I mean, I get dunned all the time for tickets -- it's bloody awful.

I'm going to give you a few names and I want you to tell me the first word that comes to your mind:

Jack Valenti.

Short.

Jack Nicholson.

Important.

Joan Rivers.

Uh ... [Laughs] I can't think of one word that would encompass her. I may not be a good player for this game. She's a friend of mine, so I don't want to say the first word that comes to my mind.

Melissa Rivers.

[Stutters] This is not a good game for me.

Richard Gere.

Thoughtful.

Dick Clark.

Active.

Do you ever find yourself selfishly rooting for certain nominees to win?

Absolutely, all the time -- if I think someone will be a more colorful recipient of an award or if someone will make a better speech. I have that feeling when the academy presents me with a list of people who are going to get honorary Oscars or the Thalberg award. I'm very much interested in what will make the show a better show, which is not always in the academy's interest.

I want you to come clean now: Do you know who's going to win beforehand or not?

Everyone who's gonna win -- weeks beforehand.

[Pause]

Will you get a life, for Chrissakes? Of course I don't know! Are you kidding me?

I'll give you an example of how little I know. We occasionally have a short action film presentation and a studio will make an animated introduction. So the person says, "And the winner is ..." Well, we have the little animated thing drawn to have five separate winners and we have someone from Price Waterhouse come into the truck. Right before it's announced, he tells us which number tape machine to roll. No one knows!

After all these years, do you still find it amazing how many celebrities walk off the wrong side of the stage and have trouble opening the envelopes?

No, because I filter it all through the sense of astonishment, surprise and just plain uniqueness of that experience. I mean, there you are up there and there are 3,000 in the hall looking at you; there's 500 million people watching you. There's no preparation for it. Some celebrities do get a little dry-mouthed. They make mistakes. I understand Elizabeth Taylor's appearance at the Golden Globes. She's not reading that [teleprompter] -- it's just nerves.

On a scale of 1 to 10, what are the chances a young journalist can get a pair of Oscar tickets if he writes a very flattering and complimentary piece about you?

Is "1" no chance or is "10" no chance?

"1" is no chance.

I'm afraid the answer is "1."

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